studying is the good plan

i would just be feeling so happy once i had time to do my own stuff. my own stuff means studying, sleeping, online, watching movies with TheGE, refilling my water bottles, tidy up my room, cooking, photoshop-ing my random pictures, listening to musics, drawing, etc.

i just feel that i can't do anything right now. i have no idea from where to start. i have a LOT to study instead of enjoying those slow-paced-stuff of my lives. every morning when i wake up i feel that i'm going to fail my final if i don't start studying again. well, i always end up my day being busy with so many nonsense things and studying nothing.

i have a tonnes of sport days pictures and videos to select and cut...

my laptop's memory space will be overloaded soon..

i run from here and there to shoot some nice pictures but sometime get myself disappointed with bad pictures.

my brain is full of a blender of abstracting ideas about the slide show that i'm going to present in closing ceremony.

i'm being so worry that my laptop will get sick and all my pictures and videos gone.

on another hand, i'm worrying about my practical works. (i called Carmen few days ago and told her what had happened to me recently. she asked me to buy Lakshmi sweet to those lecturers as a sign of apology.) i promise to myself that i must finish all the tooth settings as soon as possible once i enter the lab again! oh... i shall pray really hard to get their signatures too...

oh yea, after that offending incident i can make a conclusion now.

to the adverse effects,

1. i can't proceed my practical work for almost 2 weeks.
2. all the lecturers have bad impression on me.
3. my sport days mood spoilt.
4. i have spent Rs300 to buy Lakshmi sweet for them and have no idea whether they will accept or not.
5. keep worrying about my internal assessment mark.
6. might be eye-sticked by that lecturer for the rest of second year.

to the uses,

1. i learn to control my temper.
2. i know how serious it is to offend lecturer in India.
3. i appreciate the chance for attending classes and practicals.
4. i start to study.
5. i must respect the elders like how i respect my parents, even if they like insulting.
   
6. i know that TheGE will always be there for me no matter what.

there's a quote in chinese, "利用零碎的时间去做有意义的事。" which means we shall learn to use the fragmented free times to do important and meaningful things.

obsessing

i'm so scared suddenly..

i realize that i'm being obsessed by the scary India. i feel like i'll never get myself out of this birdy place where so many weird stuff and people exist in. i feel like i'll take the otto (tut-tut car) forever in my life.. i feel like i'll need to pay stuff using Rupees forever... i feel like i'll stay in Salem PIDC hostel forever.. i even feel like i'll need to have Indian foods forever..!

AHHH!! i want to get myself out from here as soon as possible!

i shouldn't have told my friends and family how good i used to feel at here. i know when i always say i feel good at something or somebody i'll sure be disappointed at the end. =.=

i miss my home.. yesterday, i got my tears shed when i was listening to the instrumental musics that i used to play at home every time. sssh.... so useless.

i gotta STUDY REALLY HARD and leave this place next year.

bad days

i can't deny that i'm having some bad days recently.

such as:

1. offending lecturers.
2. stepping my foot into mud.
3. being emotional. get irritated easily. negative.
   
4. getting insomnia.
   
5. forget to get my tripod back from camp.
   
6. couldn't sleep well.
7. doing everything in a rush.
8. camera's memory full when i need to use .
9. my second RPD with porosities still.
10. I LOST ALL THE OPENING CEREMONY PICTURES!!!

... i lost them......

double check and check and CHECK again from my laptop. no....no...NO.... please don't treat me like this... there's no even a single piece of them... ALL GONE!! how can this be happened on me!! my precious pictures!!! the pictures with everyone's laughters and expressions inside!! and their banners!! and their cheers!! and their preparation for the opening ceremony!! and every captain's!! and the big 'R'!! and the fireworks!!! and the and many many many many many MANY more..!!!!!

i'm damn stupid!

i'm so stressed!!!

disaster

i wished it was just happened in my dream during afternoon nap...

i really have no idea what's going on with those lecturers in prosthodontics department. we're supposed in the mid way of doing complete denture's tooth setting right now but there come a NOBODY lecturer and disaster-ing the 2nd summer batch.

let me describe this NOBODY lecturer:

1. Morphologically
   

• fat
• short
• with mustache
• a pair of 'hamsip' eyes
  

2. Chemically

• has some knowledge in prothodontics
  
• holds a master degree (M'am Sudha has no power anymore)
  
• fussy (redo your practical works)
  
• easy in insulting (i can throw your cast/are you deaf?)
• easy to get insulted (you leave the lab now!)
  
• disrespectful yet wants other to respect him
  
• loves people to suck-up him (M'am Sima does a very good job)
  
• yells the students out if his butts reached the class ealier (go out)
  
• keeps asking stupid questions in his class (what is friction?)
  

let's make it brief of what has happened today.

[i was holding my RPD to him for the second time]

NOBODY: [talking very soft] "how much is the denture's thickness?"

Me : [was not listening well and looking at him] "..."

NOBODY: [staring at me with his 'hamsip' eyes] "are you deaf?"

Me : "i couldn't hear you."

NOBODY: [showing his fuck face] "how much is the denture's thickness?"

Me : "2mm."

NOBODY: [lifting up my denture] "do you think there's 2mm here?"

Me : "oh sorry i thought you are asking me the standard thickness of denture. so it's 1mm."

NOBODY: "how do you know it's 1mm? show me how you measure."

Me : [anger. bring a ruler and measure to him.] "...."

NOBODY: [fuck face + disgusting smile] "is this how lecturer taught you?"

Me : [anger + anger + anger. kept staring at him only.] "...."

NOBODY: [staring at me at the same time.]

[there was a long pause...]
[i walked back to my seat straight away ]

NOBODY: [shouted together with Sima] "M'am i'm calling you! Ling Ching!"

[i kept on ignoring them though they later on ordered Jia Li and Sathya to call me there.]

NOBODY: "ok you may leave the department now!"

[then i packed up all my dental stuff and walked out, with a KICK of the lab's door]

[silence...]

[NOBODY and Sima were so shocked. everyone was stunned.]

and when i insisted to go back to my hostel, TheGE stopped me and gave a lot of advices. i was really in the optimum anger and accidentally broke my RPD in my pocket. after cooling down, i decided to apologize as what TheGE had suggested, because the NOBODY would be failing my internal marks and i might not be able to go back to penang for the 3rd year.

well, the NOBODY and Sima took some quick walks to Dr. Samraj's office and complained about the issue of disrespecting-against-lecturers. luckily Dr. Samraj didn't take that issue seriously, he came to the lab and gave some advices to us about the attendances and tests that we always absenced only.

i stood up and ready to apologize to the NOBODY but he said,"i don't want to listen to you." then Sima asked me to leave the lab.

speechless...

i wonder who appointed these few unwanted lecturers to PIDC, they bring only disaster to us. other than being so mean, insulting, disrespectful, fussy and low class they don't bring anything benefit to us.

grasp

i just can't think of any good things right now. emo-ing is striking on me still. i want an independent life!!! be independent of anyone anything.. can i just sit still and study hard and don't bother about other things?

i'm just so annoying, ain't i? this is not me.

请问，你想兜去边都？

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很多时候当你觉得你很需要一样东西，但是得到之后发现原来那份喜悦并不长久，也许是变质了，大概是本来就没有完美的这种东西。

回顾过后，还是在没有得到之前的那份喜悦是最珍贵的。

简单的生活是复杂人最后的愿望。