death = eternity

i received a msg from siew meei when i was studying with shien juin yesterday afternoon. in the msg, it's written like this, "敬慈, 国瑛走了.." at first i thought she's leaving for somewhere to further her studies but the msg was too short n creepy. i didn't have the good feeling about it, thus i made a call to siew meei.

kok ying just passed away in that afternoon.

i couldn't accept the fact, how could she die.. she's LAI KOK YING!!!!!!!!! she was so healthy, she was so optimistic, she was so playful, she was so smart..... how could it be.

how much i wish i could fly back to msia now. 'm deeply regret that i never pay a visit to her during last holiday in kk.

i miss her laughes, the way she talked, how she treasured her frens.. my heart scattered into pieces.. i lost another fren. this is the real one. she's no more in this world. together buried with her voice.

i couldn't stop imaging things that might be happened in a sudden, without my knowledge. i'm in pessimism again..(pls slap me) i should have reminded myself that life is...full of unexpectations.

maybe...
the next minute...

i'll fall down with my soup?
i'll be hit by a car?
i'll be stabbed by robber?

maybe...
the next 3 years...

i find myself having anaemia?
i'll be diagnosed that i have hepatitis?
i burn myself in the kitchen?
my nerves get paralyzed?

stupid. well, i prefer i'm the one who get injured or even die b4 any others. coz i'm too selfish.

actually i should be glad that god has brought her spirit back to where she came from right.. that's wat i should think about in spite. fortunately she got the pathway how her spirit should go, otherwise i'll feel guilty very much.

wat's the eternity one? i'd call it the soul. human body is just like a shell, that helps us physically in everything, from crawling until walking until running. but it always comes to an end when the body gets infected, travailed or degraded. the only eternity one will never die, it will go back to the place where it came from if we know where it enters on our body. that's the secret which god is wishing to tell us. i wish i could let more of my frens to know bout this, so that they will know where n how their spirits to be returned to god. it's kinda hard to convince especially ppl from different religions. the eternity one... who could understand? nobody wanna understand.