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我的人生哲學二當失敗來臨時

2010-05-30T16:06:00.002+08:00

年輕人總是把事情想得很容易, 但是當一經歷的時候才發現現實與離理想差之毫釐.

我也是那種年輕人.

執著的重量已經偏向于時間和金錢了.

這個時候理想還是比我快.

還是實際點比較好, 做太多的夢讓自己變得更呆.

其實愚蠢沒有什麽大不了, 真的, 相不相信自己做得到沒關係.

因為只要是堅持下去就可以的.

愚蠢的我

2010-01-15T00:23:00.002+08:00

不懂什麼時候，我又開始思念起你。
對，是思念沒有錯。
我真的真的很想再見到你。
但是我必須背負著一堆煩人的事。
講真的我到底還是沒有那個勇氣。
但是我真的很想你。。
心裡很後悔很後悔，
原來我兜了一圈還是想回到原點。
可能現在的你已經不再是以前的那位
你的心，應該變得很堅硬了吧。
對不起，我不應該傷害你的心。
現在說什麼都沒有意義，
踏錯一步，真的是踏錯了一步。
再說，現在你應該過得很好吧？
有時簡訊給你只希望能再跟你聯絡，
不懂這樣會不會讓你抗拒。
抗拒我再次地傷害你？
原諒我的幼稚，我只是想再見你一面。
我們真的沒有機會碰面了嗎？
煩死了。。。我很想現在直接去那裡！

不要吵！！！

2009-10-12T21:23:00.001+08:00

煩死人了！！！
可不可以不要都依賴我！！！
我不可以一個人同時招待兩個人！！！！！
我要安靜一個人！！！！！！！！！

我的人生哲學1：偏見

2009-10-07T19:06:00.000+08:00

唉。。拖了這麼久才po個blog，做事有夠拖拉的我。。

其實在這些日子里，心裡有好多話想說。

因為看得東西越多，想法越多，越覺得很多事情比想像中更難。

我的脾氣好像沒有以前那樣沖了，什麽氣都吞。

在這世界里，我是多么地渺小。

當然，我還是那麼地自以為是。

今天，我又發現一則人生道理。

我們每天習慣的動作和毛病，是在不知不覺中形成的。

比如說習慣性地不爽、不耐煩、聽別人的是非，甚至開始bias人家等。

這些已變成生活中不可或缺的東西。。

然而，在還沒碰到瓶頸前，似乎忘了什麽是感恩。

今天在全班前表現不佳的我，下面的人會不會講衰我？

如果我是下面的人，心裡一定會覺得你很遜。

是的，我一定會覺得我上去講都好過你啦。

今天忽然發現，原來從以前到現在的我心裡都一直在批評別人。

有哪一次，我曾感恩那些人？

感恩他們讓我知道原來事情不應該這樣處理，

感恩他們讓我知道做人不應該不檢點，

也感恩他們知道或不知道你曾批評過他們之餘仍然在台下為你鼓掌。

我覺得自己太傲慢了。。。真是傲慢到極點。

我已經比那些曾被我歧視的勤奮同學差了好多。。

從新開始吧好樣地！做個笨烏龜也很好啊。

我好喜歡你

2009-08-02T12:49:00.003+08:00

最近每星期六都等不及看星光，其實第五季並非什麽好看的，只是因為有一個我非常非常非常喜歡的選手在裏面！！我真的好喜歡他。。。

真的好喜歡他。。。

覺得自己好蠢好蠢，這麼大了竟然還像個無知少女般追求人家。可是他真的好可愛。。

他有著獨特的嗓子，長的雖然不特別，但是性格淳樸陽光的他很真是好吸引人。

如果他出了專輯我一定要賣他的！

孫自佑我好喜歡你！！！！

this is so sad..

2009-07-13T10:24:00.000+08:00

有些人，有些事，有些話，

有些愛有些人一直沒機會見，等有機會見了，卻又猶豫了，相見不如不見。

有些事一直沒機會做，等有機會了，卻不想再做了。

有些話埋藏在心中好久，沒機會說，等有機會說的時候，卻說不出口了。

有些愛一直沒機會愛，等有機會了，已經不愛了。

有些人很多機會相見的，卻總找借口推脫，想見的時候已經沒機會了。

有些話有很多機會說的，卻想著以後再說，要說的時候，已經沒機會了。

有些事有很多機會做的，卻一天一天推遲，想做的時候卻發現沒機會了。

有些愛給了你很多機會，卻不在意沒在乎，想重視的時候已經沒機會愛了。

人生有時候，總是很諷刺。一轉身可能就是一世。

說好永遠的，不知怎麼就散了。

最後自己想來想去竟然也搞不清當初是什麼原因分開彼此的。

然後，你忽然醒悟，感情原來是這麼脆弱的。經得起風雨，卻經不起平凡；風雨同船，天x便各自散了。

也許只是賭氣，也許只是因為小小的事。

幻想著和好的甜蜜，或重逢時的擁抱，那個時候會是邊流淚邊捶打對方，還傻笑著。

該是多美的畫面。

沒想到的是，一別竟是一輩子了。

於是，各有各的生活，各自愛著別的人。曾經相愛，現在已互不相干。

即使在同一個小小的城市，也不曾再相逢。

某一天某一刻，走在同一條街，也看不見對方。

先是感歎，後來是無奈。也許你很幸福，因為找到另一個適合自己的人。

也許你不幸福，因為可能你這一生就只有那個人真正用心在你身上。

很久很久，沒有對方的消息，也不再想起這個人，也是不想再想起。

再回首時，容顏已無法辨認！

沒想到我又回來了。

2009-06-29T21:00:00.005+08:00

好久沒有blog，不知回到這裡又是什麽感覺。
總覺得每次要blog的時候都是很低潮的。
不然又是矛盾再現。
之前跟自己說要blog就寫開心的事情。
不過沒多久覺得很偽裝。
重點是，我一直覺得那些很不實際。
畢竟快樂和新鮮事的時光過了就沒意義了。
一方面，耳朵旁好像有個聲音跟我說世間的事在乎幹嘛。
不永久的東西就不要去執著，算吧去。

現在，我就是要寫心理想的一些事。

今天抽了牙根，又花了一筆錢。雖然老師。。。但是做crown的那一筆又要我的命。真是山窮水盡啊！以前在dr.chin那裡看人家做抽牙根覺得這種事情一定不會發生在自己身上，沒想到過兩年到自己中招。因為重點是，我不喜歡有假的東西在我的嘴裡！

不管怎樣，我還是相信這不是巧克力做的好事。

臭小孩一直等到我做完治療，又借我付x-ray和藥的錢，其實我心理滿低落的。靠別人的感覺特別糟，尤其是你事先可以作準備的時候。之後，看到他在走廊上被dr.ajay罵，原因是不能在走廊上看報紙，因為不像樣。我知道他等下一定會把這件事重重掛在心上，因為獅子座的人總是那麼愛自己的尊嚴。我不再因為這樣去安慰他了，是想讓他能夠去成長自己的想法。

尊嚴，真是累人。

我希望我還可以大喇喇地過過這段困苦的日子，但是必須開始認真努力求學了，要不然每次想到辛苦的爸爸就會內疚到極點。

真的很想一個人去旅行。

studying is the good plan

2008-10-25T23:53:00.002+08:00

i would just be feeling so happy once i had time to do my own stuff. my own stuff means studying, sleeping, online, watching movies with TheGE, refilling my water bottles, tidy up my room, cooking, photoshop-ing my random pictures, listening to musics, drawing, etc.

i just feel that i can't do anything right now. i have no idea from where to start. i have a LOT to study instead of enjoying those slow-paced-stuff of my lives. every morning when i wake up i feel that i'm going to fail my final if i don't start studying again. well, i always end up my day being busy with so many nonsense things and studying nothing.

i have a tonnes of sport days pictures and videos to select and cut...

my laptop's memory space will be overloaded soon..

i run from here and there to shoot some nice pictures but sometime get myself disappointed with bad pictures.

my brain is full of a blender of abstracting ideas about the slide show that i'm going to present in closing ceremony.

i'm being so worry that my laptop will get sick and all my pictures and videos gone.

on another hand, i'm worrying about my practical works. (i called Carmen few days ago and told her what had happened to me recently. she asked me to buy Lakshmi sweet to those lecturers as a sign of apology.) i promise to myself that i must finish all the tooth settings as soon as possible once i enter the lab again! oh... i shall pray really hard to get their signatures too...

oh yea, after that offending incident i can make a conclusion now.

to the adverse effects,

i can't proceed my practical work for almost 2 weeks.
all the lecturers have bad impression on me.
my sport days mood spoilt.
i have spent Rs300 to buy Lakshmi sweet for them and have no idea whether they will accept or not.
keep worrying about my internal assessment mark.
might be eye-sticked by that lecturer for the rest of second year.

to the uses,

i learn to control my temper.
i know how serious it is to offend lecturer in India.
i appreciate the chance for attending classes and practicals.
i start to study.
i must respect the elders like how i respect my parents, even if they like insulting.
i know that TheGE will always be there for me no matter what.

there's a quote in chinese, "利用零碎的时间去做有意义的事。" which means we shall learn to use the fragmented free times to do important and meaningful things.

obsessing

2008-10-22T02:28:00.002+08:00

i'm so scared suddenly..

i realize that i'm being obsessed by the scary India. i feel like i'll never get myself out of this birdy place where so many weird stuff and people exist in. i feel like i'll take the otto (tut-tut car) forever in my life.. i feel like i'll need to pay stuff using Rupees forever... i feel like i'll stay in Salem PIDC hostel forever.. i even feel like i'll need to have Indian foods forever..!

AHHH!! i want to get myself out from here as soon as possible!

i shouldn't have told my friends and family how good i used to feel at here. i know when i always say i feel good at something or somebody i'll sure be disappointed at the end. =.=

i miss my home.. yesterday, i got my tears shed when i was listening to the instrumental musics that i used to play at home every time. sssh.... so useless.

i gotta STUDY REALLY HARD and leave this place next year.

bad days

2008-10-20T18:42:00.002+08:00

i can't deny that i'm having some bad days recently.

such as:

offending lecturers.
stepping my foot into mud.
being emotional. get irritated easily. negative.
getting insomnia.
forget to get my tripod back from camp.
couldn't sleep well.
doing everything in a rush.
camera's memory full when i need to use .
my second RPD with porosities still.
I LOST ALL THE OPENING CEREMONY PICTURES!!!

... i lost them......

double check and check and CHECK again from my laptop. no....no...NO.... please don't treat me like this... there's no even a single piece of them... ALL GONE!! how can this be happened on me!! my precious pictures!!! the pictures with everyone's laughters and expressions inside!! and their banners!! and their cheers!! and their preparation for the opening ceremony!! and every captain's!! and the big 'R'!! and the fireworks!!! and the and many many many many many MANY more..!!!!!

i'm damn stupid!

i'm so stressed!!!

disaster

2008-10-15T01:35:00.002+08:00

i wished it was just happened in my dream during afternoon nap...

i really have no idea what's going on with those lecturers in prosthodontics department. we're supposed in the mid way of doing complete denture's tooth setting right now but there come a NOBODY lecturer and disaster-ing the 2nd summer batch.

let me describe this NOBODY lecturer:

Morphologically

fat
short
with mustache
a pair of 'hamsip' eyes

2. Chemically

has some knowledge in prothodontics
holds a master degree (M'am Sudha has no power anymore)
fussy (redo your practical works)
easy in insulting (i can throw your cast/are you deaf?)
easy to get insulted (you leave the lab now!)
disrespectful yet wants other to respect him
loves people to suck-up him (M'am Sima does a very good job)
yells the students out if his butts reached the class ealier (go out)
keeps asking stupid questions in his class (what is friction?)

let's make it brief of what has happened today.

[i was holding my RPD to him for the second time]

NOBODY: [talking very soft] "how much is the denture's thickness?"

Me : [was not listening well and looking at him] "..."

NOBODY: [staring at me with his 'hamsip' eyes] "are you deaf?"

Me : "i couldn't hear you."

NOBODY: [showing his fuck face] "how much is the denture's thickness?"

Me : "2mm."

NOBODY: [lifting up my denture] "do you think there's 2mm here?"

Me : "oh sorry i thought you are asking me the standard thickness of denture. so it's 1mm."

NOBODY: "how do you know it's 1mm? show me how you measure."

Me : [anger. bring a ruler and measure to him.] "...."

NOBODY: [fuck face + disgusting smile] "is this how lecturer taught you?"

Me : [anger + anger + anger. kept staring at him only.] "...."

NOBODY: [staring at me at the same time.]

[there was a long pause...]
[i walked back to my seat straight away ]

NOBODY: [shouted together with Sima] "M'am i'm calling you! Ling Ching!"

[i kept on ignoring them though they later on ordered Jia Li and Sathya to call me there.]

NOBODY: "ok you may leave the department now!"

[then i packed up all my dental stuff and walked out, with a KICK of the lab's door]

[silence...]

[NOBODY and Sima were so shocked. everyone was stunned.]

and when i insisted to go back to my hostel, TheGE stopped me and gave a lot of advices. i was really in the optimum anger and accidentally broke my RPD in my pocket. after cooling down, i decided to apologize as what TheGE had suggested, because the NOBODY would be failing my internal marks and i might not be able to go back to penang for the 3rd year.

well, the NOBODY and Sima took some quick walks to Dr. Samraj's office and complained about the issue of disrespecting-against-lecturers. luckily Dr. Samraj didn't take that issue seriously, he came to the lab and gave some advices to us about the attendances and tests that we always absenced only.

i stood up and ready to apologize to the NOBODY but he said,"i don't want to listen to you." then Sima asked me to leave the lab.

speechless...

i wonder who appointed these few unwanted lecturers to PIDC, they bring only disaster to us. other than being so mean, insulting, disrespectful, fussy and low class they don't bring anything benefit to us.

grasp

2008-10-05T01:38:00.002+08:00

i just can't think of any good things right now. emo-ing is striking on me still. i want an independent life!!! be independent of anyone anything.. can i just sit still and study hard and don't bother about other things?

i'm just so annoying, ain't i? this is not me.

请问，你想兜去边都？

2008-10-02T21:11:00.003+08:00

兜兜转转。。。兜兜转转。。。
兜兜转转。。。兜兜转转。。。
兜兜转转。。。兜兜转转。。。
兜兜转转。。。兜兜转转。。。
兜兜转转。。。兜兜转转。。。
兜兜转转。。。兜兜转转。。。
兜兜转转。。。兜兜转转。。。
兜兜转转。。。兜兜转转。。。

兜兜转转。。。兜兜转转。。。

很多时候当你觉得你很需要一样东西，但是得到之后发现原来那份喜悦并不长久，也许是变质了，大概是本来就没有完美的这种东西。

回顾过后，还是在没有得到之前的那份喜悦是最珍贵的。

简单的生活是复杂人最后的愿望。

recently

2008-09-30T10:58:00.003+08:00

the atmosphere of sport meet is filling everywhere in Vinayaka when i see a lot friends start jogging and playing sports everyday.

quiet like those tiny flowers with yellow in the centre.

our cheer practice... which is every night!!! =.=

evening view with the traffic lights~

we all jog at here.

basketball practice. with cloudy sky!

it should be my first time seeing raining from far.

some scenery in movie? keke..

i remember when i was a kid, i kept watching the sky from the car while mom drove. and i told mom, "actually sky and sea they looked so similar."

i realized that i never had a proper individual picture, thus i took out my cam and try some shots. and i'm glad that the photoshop effect has covered my freckles and some unknown remnants on my face.

In Bruges

2008-09-21T01:11:00.005+08:00

I watched this 'In Bruges' with TheGE after dinner. Initially, i didn't have any interest with the movie based on its disk cover, but when i started watching it i found it so interesting and beautiful.

Both the hitmen were sent to Bruges by their boss harry. They never thought that that would be their last trip to which was ended in Bruges. Ray, was freaking-bored staying in Bruges as it's the most medieval place located in Belgium. Well, he found this pretty gal during the filming of a midget somewhere on the street and started his relationship. Ken, his partner was asked by their boss to kill Ray for the sake of principle, as Ray accidentally killed a kid in a church. on another hand, Ray was feeling so much guilt on killing the little boy and become suicidal. Ken failed to shot Ray as he stopped him from committing suicide.

Ken got himself ready to be killed by their boss, Harry. After got shot, Ken jumped from the bell tower to let Ray know that Harry was going to kill him afterward. [He's such a great hitman!!]

At last, Harry shot Ray to death and accidentally shot the midget (shorty) via Ray's body. He thought the midget was a little boy, thus, for the sake of principle, he shot himself through his mouth and died.

This movie is quite interesting as the director has input some black jokes and the way he films the movie is so gorgeous. Maybe the place Bruges is really a superb pretty place. I want to go there one day! The evening scenes are so nice!! Like what Harry said in the movie, "it's such a fairytale f**king place, I would go there before i die."

I couldn't find any evening pictures of Bruges and some of another gorgeous pictures could not be uploaded. I found out there's another way of learning photograph shooting, it's via movie!!

trip and festival

2008-09-15T18:16:00.019+08:00

wilson, juliana, TheGE and me went to yercaud hill on saturday morning. it was my second time visiting to there with one year interval. we were so lucky to visit in the nice-weathered day. the clouds were numerous and big floating in the blue sky. the atmosphere was thin and fresh and cold!

on the way i caught some beautiful sceneries through the car window with my cam, without worrying about the quality of the pictures, cos they were too gorgeous!

i like this one, it looks like some scenes in the 'supernatural', haha.

the car was moving though.

another favourite pic =)

there are 20 hair pin bends all the way up the hill.

sun in the middle of clouds. over exposure =(

snap this accidentally while i was trying with ranges of aperture. did only sharpening.

san nv said this one look like some pictures in flickr. my favourite pic too =)

daphne n san nv said they love this idyllic pic, with a cloud which almost landed on the field.

and there were clouds with tails!

camra?

andrew said this looked like garbages with low saturation, but i think it's nice. =D

arthur said this one looked so fake, but i like it..haha.

suej and daphne asked, "who helped u guys to catch this pic?"
and i said, "hmm....the one who helped us was...tripod."
=.=''

是不是很像在拍海报？hahaha...

zhen hong said this one 才像海报 wa...
he said it can be used as teaching materials,
such as 'this is a turkey'.

the turkey's kids.

they kept running away from us but ter-blocked by wilson, juliana and TheGE another way round.

greenhouse effect?

in the rose garden.

love this scenery

using the gaussian blur application taught by li gu to edit this pic. 梦幻到死。

this looked like somewhere in the autumn.

and this like during the spring?

你以为你在拍电影meh..

又梦幻到死。

love this pic the most!

did it say something like "hi" or "u better don shoot me"?

we love the fried chilly there!

one of the duck was turning up side down washing its head?

typically 臭小孩 look.

don u think this creature looked sooOO cute?

谁看到这个不会想买的？

we were celebrating lantern festival in hostel last night. most of the lanterns were brought by si jie from msia. of course, we did have some mooncakes too!

we went to visit the quarters where those china students stay.

the moon was very shiny and there appeared a light circle around it.

calvin n hobbes!

2008-09-09T02:36:00.003+08:00

i was searching this 'calvin n hobbes' on the net since i started to dream what to do with my ODS presentation slide show. i found many funny images of it and had read some of this comic, which is really funny and astonishing. it's totally a not for-kids-only comic.

well, this one just suit my recent emotion.

and i think i'm stupid when i re-read this..

满足

2008-09-07T16:41:00.006+08:00

有些人在面对困难的时候选择勇于面对；有些人却在危机重重的时候找机会逃避。

在克服困难的时候，没有几个人是可以以十全十美的计谋去完成的。因为很多的人都被现实蒙住了本来原有的智慧。

智慧，是很多人都在追求的一样宝物。它，不仅使人富有，幸福，还有美满；它严重地促使一个人放下所有珍贵的东西，并且朝着一个永恒的方向走去。

什么是永恒？在盲目地追求钱财，爱情，事业，名气的时候，我已经开始忘记了什么才是真正的，实实在在的，千真万确的东西。我不知不觉把这些奇怪的东西变成了生命里的阻扰。它们每天都在床边重复地跟我说提醒我“你以后赚很多钱后记得存钱买房子，车子，保险，或者开一间餐厅，然后去享受你的人生。。。”

有时候，它们又会对我说 “不要忘了守住你的男友，不要让别人拐走了，他是你以后要依靠的对像。。。你看，那个~~曾经是人家第三者的~~女生又跟他讲话了。”

有很多时候，它们一直提醒我 “今天一定要读书啦，一定要考到比别人好，一定要让别人对你刮目相看。。”

我每天都被这些不切实际的怪物困扰着。原来这些就是使我没有办法睡好的原因。要如何去克服困难？去面对这些烦事？

没错，往好的方向想是正确的。

但是好的想法不能24小时一直跟着你，你也不可能直接把不好的记忆删除，毕竟印象是深刻的东西。

一个人只有一双手，能捉住多少样东西？放下钱财追求爱情？还是放下爱情追求事业？无论如何，都满足不到心中的欲望，不是吗？

欲望，是个奸诈的幕后黑手。

是啊。。不管怎样都会胡思乱想都会不满足。

数数下，最能持久在身边的是什么？好像不是钱。。又好像不是爱情。。更不像是名气。。因为钱会进也会出，爱情会来也会走，名气也会渐渐消失。我不可能成为全部的奴隶，那样很累，很吃不消，到最后被背叛的还不是自己。

要克服这些欲望的使者，我没有很高的智慧，我也没有具体的条件。我唯一能做的事情，只有对每一事抱着满足的心情。

对，只有满足的心情我才不会为明天烦恼。

如果我满足了，我就不会花很多时间上网，我就有时间读书。
如果我满足每一天，就会感谢身边每个人，更不会去猜疑和责怪别人。我更不用担心别人去抢走自己爱的人，只要满足就可以克服一切。

持着满足的心情，一点点就是大欢喜。

brand new day

2008-09-02T00:44:00.002+08:00

regarded from the previous post... sorry if i scared u guys. wa.. if continue like this sure can lose weight isn't it? okay, start to o-ji-ba-la dy..

firstly, i'm so happy today as TheGE and my family come back from msia!

woke up quite early in this morning i might be too excited for the starting of the classes (shh...). and i saw TheGE in front of my dorm when i rushed out from my room, u know how great the feeling would be if u saw ur beloved one who had been away for 2 weeks now standing in front of u, wearing his specs with a charming smile and opened his arms for u. hahaha. oh, hong er got his hair cut! look more like a 臭小孩! and san nv got her hair cut too, which suit her quite much. =D

secondly, i found that my tooth carving skill is getting lousier. how sad it is. oh ya, i was scolded by the lecturer during attendance taking, i still couldn't change my habit to argue with lecturers, almost showed my temper when he asked me "what were u doing over there? what's wrong with u? listen well when lecturer is taking attendance next time!" ah yea yea... indian lecturers are so 无理取闹. ~~i'm such a good student.~~

TheGE played this 'lucky' sung by jason mraz and colbie caillat while acting according to the lyrics to me, haha..stupid. the song is very nice and soothing, love jason mraz's music talents and colbie caillat's voice. it makes ppl falling into a wondering world, haha.

i got many bars of dark chocolate my most favorite food ever from my sis! i'm lovin it! and TheGE bought a 75% cocoa dark chocolate for me too! long live the chocolate~

okay, gotta study now... must prepare for final (next feb) from now!

anorexia!!

2008-09-01T23:40:00.004+08:00

no appetite
no appetite
no appetite
no appetite
no appetite
no appetite
no appetite
no appetite....

no appetite still.

random

2008-08-30T18:22:00.003+08:00

recently i'm being so lazy to eat i think because i'm being too relax, so boneless-ing.

i'll recall what i have done everyday. and when come to recall about it, i tell myself "it's ok, make use of tomorrow then."

so today i woke up at 11:30am, which was the latest ever in holidays. the reason was, last night i pinned a layer of blanket on my curtain to black out the room. therefore, it seemed like still in the early morning to which it was actually reaching noon time. [after woke up] aiya... daphne got up from her bed already! i had to tahan my shit for 30 min then!

as usual, i'm still sitting in front of my laptop for the whole day.........

i've tried to design my blog's header, i think it's quite nice to suit someone childish like me. =D see.. i never deny i'm childish. i cant accept the concept to 'act and talk like ur age'. if u're not mentally grown-up yet pls la... don act and talk like u-think-u're-so-mature can?

No Offense~

tried another set in polyvore again this afternoon. i could complete it a shorter time compared to last one!

i named it 'elegancy'.

cant wait li gu n sue jane to move to my dorm today. afterwards we can cook and play together easier, haha.. i hope we can make another edible cake tonight... y i always fail to bake a cake.. is it because of the wrong ingredients ratio? don care, must try until succeeded.

failed. matured outside immatured inside.

it was raining cats n dogs again and before it started to rain, i took a picture of the gloomy sky from my dark room.

oh ya, i had a first dinner with my new roommate, sue jane and andrew few days ago. the dinner was great! my room became smaller after rearrangement.

i cant wait for TheGE, hong er and san nv's return, i want to have a feast with them!

confident

2008-08-28T16:33:00.004+08:00

finally i had a good slumber last night.. exercise is really important! (done aerobic and jogging with kying) i was thinking if it's friday before i got up from my bed. i just couldn't wait for the school to start, cos i want the hostel back to its normal atmosphere!

i was still considering it's friday.

i viewed some blogs while having my lazy b'fast, and found this 'polyvore' quite interesting which is introduced in wansim's blog. honestly i never have confident to design a set of outfit nor edit a photo cos i'll over-do it always, which ended up with a mess. yet i still gave myself a try. i'm not sure if i'll return back to polyvore again not. ><

i named it "Go Comfy Go Ladylike"

so there's a cheerful kinda ladylike and a gloomy kinda ladylike, haha. but it appeared in dark background in my polyvore profile, i dunno how to remove the background thus i just print-screen from the editing page and paste into my laptop. after trying it out i realised that to become a fashion designer really need a lotsssSS of talents and creative thoughts and time! and i shall appreciate those fashion magazines next time (cos i always flip through the poses n see the prices only).

oh ya, i spent about 2 n a half hours for it :S

went for swimming with sue jane, dahpne(my new roommate) and kying afterwards. we (unexperienced coaches) taught kying to float n swim. i think sue jane's teaching would be easier to understand n mine would be too abstract, cos i kept on saying "just imagine u can float and push ur body forward in the water.. etc."

there were only 4 of us in the pool and we had a great time. i never thought that i could do free style and back-stroke until i tried with sue jane, keke.. but it was very tiring compared to frog style, i think its calorie-burning is triple of my jogging one.

well, i'm going to have a good slumber tonight for sure. =D

exchange

2008-08-25T16:59:00.009+08:00

I had some bad slumbers these few days, I couldn’t get myself sleep properly to which I kept turning from one side to another side of the bed for so many times until I fell asleep, in the dawn! (I start making myself worried now; it sounds like I’m suffered from insomnia!) Maybe I was being too aware before falling asleep every night since the ‘incident’ which Tammy had met. I WANT A DEEP SLEEP A DEEP SLEEP!

Finally the seniors left Salem… It was so hard to describe my feeling I dunno whether I should be glad for them or feeling despair of their absences afterwards. I was still having myself blurred n seemed like loneliness starting to bound into my entire holidays. I tidied up and rearranged my room after they left. To kao tiam those stuff given by them was quite a tough work (they are still remained on the floor now, “gotta clear them up neat-freak!”).

Carmen n Priscilla (P-Lala) were feeling heavy to leave their twee friend Kristy. I was hardly to imagine how the days would be without them…

I’m feeling so grateful to have Carmen as my roommate since the first day in Salem PIDC. She has guided me a lot in academy. We have been watching dramas, cooking, baking, jogging, playing badminton, pillow-talking, gossiping, doing facial and studying together. She has been giving some wise opinions to me when I dunno how to make a decision. Her living concept has influenced me to spend money rationally and always do the important thing first. I really need some friends like her in my life =)

So I shall be more independent now. I must be hardworking and pass the final and meet them again after 6 months! Time flies right!

it was on P-Lala's bday.
we woke her up in the midnight.
carmen BAKED a chocolate cake for her.

i bought her a pair of baby socks n baby's chewing toy with penguin on both.

the next day, day before they left for msia, they cooked as many as possible.

yee vaa-the-dog-lover tied up the dogs' necks with red n blue ropes.
oh ya, there was one day one of the dogs ter-locked in her room when she went to town. the dog kept barking n scratching the door inside her room. when she came back, she found her laptop's adapter ter-biten..

oh i'm in the picture! carrying some seasoning n sauces.

i'll miss those time cooking with carmen very much :..(

Sarah burnt all her bank receipts, in case somebody make 'use' of it.

dunno who's room but this pic is quiet nice. taken by Yen.

all the dished we ate last night. so black~

i knew time flies... when i saw all those luggages.

maybe we just lost some talented seniors.
for boys, dota partners?

they were tying some luggages up there.

i think aka is the poorest person, she has to witness every batch's departure.

their snacks n foods on the journey to chennai airport, which would take them 8 hours.

they said if i cried they wouldn't go back.
sorry guys, i'm so hardly to cry.

signing out from hostel.

how sad to see it..

not everyone dare to act cute right..

they were really leaving... felt like losing a guidance.

she cried. while aka was appreciating her for taking care the dogs all this long.
she had even prepared the dinner for them before she left...

finally the bus gone.

wat left over from them... those room clean akas sure hated me so much, haha..

i've tried my best to stuff-in.

articulator from P-Lala..

weight scale from popo..

i found this in front of P-Lala's room. it's still new!

(copy the cartoon from someone's drawing profile)
i made this farewell card for carmen during midnight and thought i could hand to her when she went on bus who knew... i had forgotten!! so stupid! stupid ever the stupidest!

a dizzy day

2008-08-21T14:00:00.018+08:00

finally the seniors finished their final exam yesterday afternoon, and i couldn't tell anyone how much i envy them! they will continue their 3rd year in Penang PIDC 2 months later and i still have half more year stucked in Salem.. i don mean that i hate this place in fact i like this place quite much maybe i'll even feel hard to leave here next time but i'm just so longing to be like those seniors who take their plane in the coming weekday and wave their hands to their juniors saying something like "see u after 6 months!" or "take care and study hard!" or... i just cant stand the remained 6 months i think.. i want to go back now x_x

i helped those seniors to take their pics with some lecturers like ma'am sudha, sima and monica. actually i don like to be any party's camera man because i'm not professional and i don want ppl to see and think me good in taking pics just because i own a DSLR. i don mind to take pics for others but "empty shell" 空壳子 feeling always fell on me, quite sad at some times actually.. aih! it's all because i'm such a lazy and useless person, never improve myself and waste a lot of time doing nothing. i always tell myself must read and study those photography magazines + some photography skills notes from kak but always ended up with "after today la..", "during weekends la...", "or during holiday la..", etc. i always feel so shame when i read kak's or yipi's blog, i see their photograph skills improved day by day and their pics reflect that i'm still on the beginning point of photography, so sad..

ok, back to the seniors' farewell with lecturers.. i helped them to take some group photos and individual photos with lecturer. i owned 3 cameras at the same time coz ma'am sudha and sima wanted their camera to shoot too. diff camera really have diff wide angles, i am glad that my cam's wide angle is the smallest! it was my first time seeing how child-behaving ma'am sudha was. she chased to apply the cake's cream onto the seniors' faces! they cheered with the lecturers with cups of soft drink and yelled "yummmMMM.........SHENnnnng......!!" at last, before they left the dental material lab, they requested ma'am sudha to announce her classical dismiss quote, "listen everyone, pack up ur things and leave!" the ending was full with laughters and happiness.

she's ma'am sudha.

the class rep presented the lakhsmi sweet to lecturers.

the lecturers prepared some snacks and cake for them.

monica is their fav lecturer.

done by sudha

she made some home desserts. (got pista flavour ah~.~)

yum sheng...!

she showed her dogs i think.

they asked her to repeat the dismiss quote.

manveer also kena.

same to xian hui.

all the way chasing them...

i was so dizzy and not feeling well since yesterday morning, felt like almost fainted when i walked out from li gu's room. after taking pics, i walked back alone.. missed TheGE quite much when walked pass the anapoorani pharmacy, which we always bought ice creams at after lab practicals. felt quite goosebumped when passed by the bridge where tammy used to smell the 'spirit' at ~.~

jane looked for me to chat yesterday afternoon and we looked for andrew and asked for chocolate coz i thought maybe chocolate could kill the dizziness, hehe..

we got ourselves prepared at 7pm and went to ma'am banu's pre-wedding reception. the hall was quite grand compared to last few i went before. the foods were quite nice maybe i was too hungry. as usual, the foods were prepared on a big banana leaf (if not mistaken) and each banana leaf contain 2 parathas, a scoop of fried rice, another scoop of curd rice, some potato chips, gobi 65 and of course plenty of sambal + bla bla paste + bla bla sauce. i ate the fried rice with my left hand and all the local ppl who sat opposite to me kept looking at me weirdly. (coz i use right hand to wash butt one!!)

took quite lot of pics but nothing seem improved in my pics still. i always think that if for another person he or she might make use of the place to take gorgeous pics like ppl normally cant. anyway, i'm going to improve myself from now! we'll see...

taking the van back to hostel was a bit hard time for me coz my dizziness + the foods just eaten made me felt like vomiting. some more felt so darn envy with those seniors they kept on talking bout their feeling after exams and things to do after exam bla bla bla... well, i just kept quite coz if i joined i'd fall into motion sickness.

they dressed up so nice~ in front of the hall.

there were some kids playing in the huge-air-filled "toy".

i was trying to capture the pic of the little boy but suddenly the gal jumped into the frame.

they had live song playing oh~

oops..over-exposure..

just felt the expression of bryan was so funny.
is this considered a candid photograph?

the videographer shoot me n i caught his flares.

i have no idea wat was she doing on the floor with the fruits, perhaps blessing?

dr. warun n his wife dr. monica.

oh finally i appeared!

there's a very long water sink with numerous water tapsssS.

got feel~

a long queue of dinner

he served us sambal

all the kids ran away when they climbed on it.

oh i appeared again!

i dunno they could play!

i was flashing back those moments playing scrabble with TheGE, there were so much fun and upset times. sometime i was very angry and 'gia su' that i had no good cards and lose to him n asked to replay the game again. sometime he changed his cards or checked dictionary secretly, briefly describe, he cheated and 'main busuk'. well, i was glad that sometime i won him! coz his english is so damn good. i'm looking forward his return and play again! shuk ting also played with me before she left for new delhi.

i think this it is the first time i won him, muahaha...

luckily he din found this...

few days ago there was raining cats n dogs. the hostel was flooded! no la...only the plants.

view outside my window

She

2008-08-18T11:40:00.002+08:00

i couldn't think of any nice movie to watch yesterday.. then suddenly i heard this "when u say nothing at all" by ronan keating in my playlist.. "notting hill"!

actually i never watch this film yet i know it's very famous, starred by julia roberts, the big mouth and intelligent actress in my impression. i did know this movie when my friend rated the soundtrack (in cassette) of it in 1999 (or 2000 i couldn't remember) to me. it was actually a gift from my late grandma as she gave me RM100 and asked me to buy myself a portable cassette player which i was longing for (i have no idea where is it now...so sad) and a cassette. i kept listening to the soundtrack and repeating some of the songs such as "she", "when u say nothing at all" and musics of the movie. i found out that i could imagine the movie scene even though i never watched it during tat time...haha..

i checked the movie out from www.tudou.com and download it from there (as it's the only way to dl movie).

i watched it finally!

those songs i used to ~~hear till rotten~~ 听到烂 are played in the movie so well! the storyline of the movie is also very smooth and not boring (TheGE used to tell me that this movie is very nice). julia roberts acts as a very famous actress with income of $150 million per film in the "notting hill". she fell in love with a bookshop owner after visited to the bookshop and discovered that the owner was a very kind and simple man that she was longing to be with. she had a lot of difficulties in her relationship she found that that was the only man that she could dependent on. after a chain of conflicts and misunderstandings, they finally got together, and at the scene which the guy pretended as a journalist to ask her whether she'd go back to him again if he knelt down right at there..was quite touching and surprisingly that she then answered another journalist that she'd stay in britain forever ever..

after that, i went to check the biography of julia roberts from wikipedia and just knew that she is the toppest-income-actress in the world! but she's replaced by nicole kidman last year.

here julia robert, anna, asked the guy to love her again after she left him previously. she told him, "i'm just a girl asking a boy to love her..."

Elvis Costello- She

She
May be the face I can't forget
The trace of pleasure or regret
May be my treasure or the price I have to pay
She
May be the song that summer sings
May be the chill that autumn brings
May be a hundred different things
Within the measure of a day

She
May be the beauty or the beast
May be the famine or the feast
May turn each day into a heaven or a hell
She may be the mirror of my dreams
The smile reflected in a stream
She may not be what she may seem
Inside her shell

She
Who always seems so happy in a crowd
Whose eyes can be so private and so proud
No one's allowed to see them when they cry
She
May be the love that cannot hope to last
May come to me from shadows of the past
That I'll remember till the day I die

She
May be the reason I survive
The why and wherefore I'm alive
The one I'll care for through the rough in ready years
Me
I'll take her laughter and her tears
And make them all my souvenirs
For where she goes I've got to be
The meaning of my life is

She
She, oh she

love this song quite much~

holiday

2008-08-15T21:06:00.011+08:00

finally it's time to cool down from a chain of busy days. i was blaming y i got myself so much things to do n y ppl always asked me to do this n that for them. i remembered last time i cried in front of TheGE when i couldn't stand myself anymore. y am i being so tame and busybody always? y am i being so fond of saying "ok ah...can ah...." and always ignoring the feelings of my loves? however, i've gone through all those tasks given and not been blaming anymore. =D

i'm gonna recall what have i done since last weekend. hong er n me went to buy several vege n fruits in town for steamboat on the day san nv left. actually we wished to have steamboat together with her as a member of 'family' but since she had to leave early so..

after san nv went back to msia, i missed her quite much, i planned to post my feelings in the blog but i had to get my task done first =( (well, i can briefly talk bout my feelings here， haha..) i always think that she's a tough girl. although the way she makes friends is quite un-soft and straight foward, yet she's a friend that u can trust with. i found that the important factor that i can live with them-the-family so well is because i don need to mask myself. san nv always cant stand li gu's n my silly-ness at several times, sometime i do worry that she will stay away from us one day.... but i wont let that happen! bla...

steamboat in my room! hong er said "we had a 不请自来 de friend", haha..

i went to take spared soup from outside n found that there were 2 becoming-dog-puppies sleeping in front of (my neighbour) yee vaa's room. she's really a dog lover.

finally i got myself some times to do the bday cards for siok wun, veng li and michelle. and another greeting card for mom. steal the idea from website as i did for the 'august rush' bday invitation cards.

14 Aug, we had a bday party call the 'august rush' (name from a movie) held for the batchmates born in august. it was the biggest most grand bday party we ever had in the hostel.

the 'august rush' decoration for august babes. it was between block 3 n 7.

the august babes....after had their suits (lab coat + mask + surgery gloves) on. they were going to perform on that night.

continuous laughters from the crowd, cos some of them forgot bout the steps.

should have 007 pose at that time but some of them started to blank...

other than Dj, they organized some live music playings. the pianist is a great pitch-catcher.

carmen brought out the historical-gorgeous-ever cake she made herself and everyone was so surprised.

a close-up of the cake...

ting er dressed the prettiest with her make-up that night.

finally got ppl took pic for me (although i don really like ppl touching my cam). i looked quite slim here (in fact i'm not), haha. yes another pic with TheGE! he felt so kekok with his crown and suit as he's such a ~~low tone~~ 低调 de person =p

each of the dishes had a fairy-taled name to suit the theme of that night.

evan cooked this love boat and it was so famous among all the dishes.

i was finding where got the dish with very little chicken on it... finally i got it.

i didn't get to drink this soup because i was so full that time, but i didn't eat much wat.

quite impressed with myself... hee...☆

the night was windy and the fabrics danced in the wind. with flares some more.

stupid..!

their dance for the closing. i couldn't catch the scene in time n asked them to re-do again.

we were so tired... yet so many plates to wash... yet the next day they were going back to msia....

finally it was time to say goodbye the next afternoon.

i really dislike farewell-ing ppl, though they will come back again, cos the feeling of looking-forward-from is quite torturing and irritating.

i dl some entertainment programs to watch right after they left. i thought it could kill the emptiness who know it made me feel more empty. :S

i try not to miss him so much, otherwise i'll have a bad holiday. but after he left, i started to think nonsense again...

after they went back... the hostel fall into a deep silence! i'm being so aimless these few days.
every morning wake up with no aims... and i dream a lot of stupid stuff in every nap.

i miss him again.

the internet connection in hotel become faster since only few ppl left at here. i think it'll become even faster few days later when the rest visit to New Delhi and the seniors go back to msia after their final :..(

finally i found the nice song played in the movie 'jerry maguire' today. the secret garden sung by bruce springsteen is so romantic n soothing. but it keeps reminding my those moments watching movies with TheGE.

okay, start from tomolo i must make use of my holiday..

[ ] i must finish all the record books,
[ ] i must read through all the taught chapters,
[ ] i must read some novels and magazines,
[ ] i must improve my photography skills,
[ ] i must eat healthy,
[ ] i must jog,
[ ] i must sleep less.

mimi~

the happy little kid

2008-08-02T16:46:00.008+08:00

today is a good day! it's not just because of saturday, the most to be mentioned is my mood is good. =D

Happiness is something like....

having some bars of dark chocolates, or...

capturing some beautiful smiles, or...

stuffing ur stomach with a heavy breakfast, or....

laughing in the sky, or...

playing fireworks with ur frens, or...

looking how ppl appreciate each other, or...

sharing the same piece of cake with someone, or...

celebrating ur roommate's bday, etc.

there're so many things to be happy with. jot them down n they'll remind u how happiness works.

幼稚园的臭小孩

2008-08-02T01:14:00.007+08:00

今天心情有点down，好像是因为昨晚没有睡好，加上一早出来就看见不想看到的人的脸色。总之，我还是没有办法理智地控制情绪。为什么她可以一下子对你很好，一下子对你这样冷淡，时常让我不受控制地在后面讲她的坏话。

渐渐地，我承认了自己的幼稚。

因为。。。。
幼稚的我，整天只会胡思乱想。

习惯被蛮多人认为是懒惰，不认真，不实际的我今天突然觉得这些眼光们很刺痛。本以为装疯卖傻是我的强项，其实这只是不切实际的大智若愚。当时我快要哭了~ (如果不需要看patho slide的话)

刚刚在珊女的blog看到这段熟悉的话，因为之前借了the secret给她，没有想到目前我也很需要鼓励和正面的想法。

"The reason you have to love YOU is because it is impossible to feel good if you don't love YOU. When you feel bad about yourself, you are blocking all the love and all the good that the Universe has for you."

我总是在清醒后又矛盾，矛盾后又清醒。今天和佛友在共修念经的时候，我一直想着要成为一个稳重的人，是很不容易的事情。因为我真是凡人中的凡人。如果你打我骂我讲我不理我，我一定会变成像大便一样的人，我一定整天在想自己有多么的糟糕。

anniversary

2008-07-28T02:17:00.015+08:00

today is our 3rd month anniversary. as planned, it's the baskin robbin day. (argh..how come i always feel so hard to write the first paragraph of every blog!)

in the beautiful morning i asked carmen to teach me how to make a pancake. the basic things i knew was only mixing powder, water, eggs and sugar but didn't really know the actual consistency of the mixture. when carmen told me that i need to make the mixture thicker i kept arguing that a thinner mixture would be nicer. when i tried to fry the first few one, i found that i couldn't make them looked aesthetic! i was doubting my concept while tried to accept carmen's one, thus, she helped me to thicken the mixture. i felt so easy to fry afterwards. then carmen implied the chinese phrase on me, "tu la, i told u dy, 不听老人言，吃亏在眼前". well, i admit that sometime my stubbornness kills me. anyway, i was so happy that i've made something that suit shien-juin-who-calls-himself-the greatest-emperor his stomach, and it was such a pleasure to see his sweetie smiling face while having pancakes. =)

after pancakes, we went to town to have our Baskin Robbin day.

it tasted nice though it didn't look good. we had it with honey and vanila syrup. shien juin TGE accidentally spilled his honey over my head! we were watching 'fight club' and we stopped eating when we saw the part that the men who steal human's fat(from liposuction) from medical department accidentally scratched the plastic beg and all the thick lipids and blood squeezed out.

this is the card which TGE put on my desk secretly while i was frying pancakes. there is a rose bookmarked in between the pages.

the biggest paper rose that he made for me. but that cannot replace 50 small paper roses still la! anyway, i really appreciate wat he had done for me. a little action will earn much much point from me, because i know it's sincere.

bought this little globe from odyssey. actually i wished to have a globe since years ago but couldn't get a cheap one. this small size globe is just suitable to be placed on my desk and it cost only Rs50=RM4++

found this scrabble mini-cards in odyssey. i wished to have a scrabble set since i played it in IS few years ago. the cards are tiny and pretty. i'm going to force my frens to play with me soon!

i chose the left one for him and he chose the right one for me.

after we ordered our dinner in green park, we went to nilgiris, a new supermarket that TGE was so desperate to pay a foods shopping at. before we went there, we saw some balloons sold on the roadside. there were some love-shape balloons tied stick-like yellow balloon, so that u can hold the balloon with its stick. i was so thick face i asked TGE to buy one for me (being acting so crazy these few weeks). when we were in a toy shop, the stick suddenly burst and left the balloon became like this......

.....yeah it became like this... i felt so damn sad and full of dunno-how-come-ah-s. and then, when we were on the way back to hostel, we heard another pop sound.

all the remaining yellow balloon gone and left only the love-shape balloon. TGE kept consoling me that it's ok as long as the love-shape balloon still there when i was really sad bout wat had happened.

oh yeah finally we went to have our important date in baskin robbin ice cream shop in santham complex. although the place is really small, it's a place which full of wonderful memories with TGE.

we had triple scoops of ice cream, to which were very-berry-strawberry, lichie and my fav dark chocolate.

on this special day, i really appreciate that fate has been arranged as so i can meet u and find u as my very special one.

love u sweetheart~

feb baby

2008-07-23T02:08:00.002+08:00

Feb

----------FEBRUARY BABY --------------------

Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract.

Intelligent and clever. Changing personality.
Attractive. Sexiest out of everyone.
Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest
And loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves
Freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves
Aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt.
Gets angry really easily but does not show it.
Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends
But rarely shows it. Horny. Daring and stubborn.
Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp.
Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the
Inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous.
Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

yes i'm intelligent!

yes i'm romantic on the inside.

yes i am attractive!

yes i love making friends!

yes i'm ambitious!!

blablabla....

sorry it's just a boring post.

recall

2008-07-20T19:32:00.037+08:00

i'm in such a weird mood to post some of my previous previous pics before i come to india. (should i add some sentences before this? not good in blogging, anyway ~.~)

i found that my face used to be so smooth compared to WAT i'm having now. pimples, blackheads, pores, dead skin, freckle, etc... am i aging ah? i cant accept that! y ya? it's because of the hard water here, must be. well, it's quite nice to review some old pictures in an aimless sunday afternoon.

i couldn't recall when did i take this picture but the thing i want to tell is i'm still wearing that farting-fish-t-shirt now which is annoying to someone's vision.

see how was my face being so smooth like milk and pink like monkey's butt.

on my 21st bday. no big party no balloons no feast but only cheers!
i like my bday to be so not important.

sis was leaving again to kl. she used to be a businesswoman oh.

we were on a parachute in pulau sapi my favourite island.

after those days, i went to kl.... which had affected my life so much.

it was on pumpkin's bday. that beg is with me still.

i was the leader of the foolishnesses.

y the colour is so nice ah?

cheers for the foolishnesses!

supper in secret recipe. when i stayed in tmn connaught.

my foolish roommate lowen the siu mang kai!

couldn't help!

it was non-of-anyone's bday but it was the foolish day.

when fitting room become our show time.

i'm the queen!

pumpkin always cant get rid of his red beans!

CNY card made for my dentist the boss.

had the family day with my boss, hear family and other colleagues.

the dentist's daughter. who always played with me when i was working at the reception.
couldn't recognise whether i was a baby-sitter or else.

when she n me had nothing to do?

working in such a place was so streeful and challenging. the dentist faced various kind of patients everyday. from the very young one to the very old one. from the very kind one to the very fussy one. i disliked doing suction but it was wat an assistant should do.

working with siti and kakak was just harmony.

when we had nothing to do again...

when the foolishness came back again.

roomies~~~ miss all those days when we were cooking, watching dramas, doing assignments together. wat would it be if i never leave u guys?

pizza hut in tmn connaught is the most beautiful one. and that was my last time having pizza there.

after they knew i decided to quit UCSI and leave for PIDC...

y this sign become so popular har?

luckily my face was not so big. otherwise i wont post it up here, hehehehe..

well, i was not studying at all in kl. online freak!!

my best fren chou qiu (name i gave). before i left for india... we were so young.

i didn't look like 21, right? hai luo hai luo restaurant~~

my sis got her hair permed that day.

well, i thought i'd be leaving for india the next day who knows the agent told me the wrong date of departure and i was informed only after i reached KLIA, which was at 5am!

and finally we were really leaving for india. see we looked? evan said i was slim before i came here and now i'm.....plump like hell.

改变

2008-06-24T00:05:00.003+08:00

妹仔说舅舅搬家了
我有点舍不得那里
除了。。。。。。。。
以前减肥时在公寓楼下跑圈爬楼梯
傍晚偷骑摆在某个门口的脚踏车
每天早上和小杰一起喝珍珠奶茶配汉堡
或者吃舅舅煮的剩菜配快熟面
或者到路边摊吃素蚵面线加糯米团
那里最让我舍不得的。。
是外婆房间里的味道
还有佣人阿水彩绘的壁画
妹仔也许一点都不曾察觉这一切
我却如此执著每一个角落
难道我都不喜欢改变吗？

哎，谁说我不喜欢改变。
房间里的东西我最爱摆设
墙壁上贴的东西可以换来换去
还有什么。。。。呢。。
朋友说我换男朋友也很厉害
我不能否认但是我不是故意的

好像渐渐越来越少想要改变的
目前穿了超过四年的休闲鞋和手表
依然那样耐看好穿
还有从跟罗文一起住穿的拖鞋
我喜欢它脱色的颜色
仔细观察我还用着几年前的笔仔和highlight pen
还有！我还用着自小抱的抱枕及毛巾
还有还有！我的好朋友还是他们
没有变没有变！我还是很贪吃
我还是很双从性格很爱搞自闭
很爱show off很爱乱讲话的人
喜欢gossip的习惯一点都没变
还是喜欢last minute做东西
依旧爱乱吼乱叫不学习斯文点
要不然喜欢假假扮斯文扮客气
你知不知道你还是多么的幼稚
哈。。。林敬慈！你竟然还有酱多没有改变到

好晒厉啊！clap*

sot。。。我竟然打开书本然后在这里crap了好多。但是我终于blog something here，是值得开心。

为什么一个人会容易陷入低潮呢？
我知道我知道！
因为他没有大爱的精神
如果一个人有大爱
他绝对没有时间去搞emo
他也绝对没时间去毁谤别人
因为他知道
如果世界上每个人都在为自己着想
那么很多的生命都会被浪费掉
为什么要浪费自己的生命？
做d有意义有价值的事情
就不会容易陷入负面的自己。

2008-06-19T20:37:00.000+08:00

放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下放下

道脈源流

2008-06-05T20:21:00.000+08:00

自伏羲見龍馬負圖，創造八卦，揭開天地奧秘，是為大道降世之始。伏羲為第一代道統祖師，其後聖聖相緒，神農為第二代，第三代軒轅黃帝，第四代少昊，第五代顓頊，第六代帝嚳，第七代帝堯，第八代帝舜，第九代夏禹，第十代伊尹，第十一代商湯，第十二代姜尚，第十三代文王、武王、周公，第十四代老子，第十五代孔子，第十六代顏子、曾子，第十七代子思，第十八代孟子，是為東方十八代。孟子以後，道脈西遷，心法失傳，儒道道脈泯滅，究未得繼續道統，良以孔子時，業經盤轉西域，釋門接衍，釋迦牟尼得道後，真法傳大弟子摩訶迦葉為禪宗初祖，單傳至二十八代達摩尊者。梁武帝時，達摩西來中土，真機妙法，復還於中國，是謂「老水還潮」。自達摩入中國，真道乃一脈相傳，達摩為初祖，單傳給神光二祖，三祖僧燦，四祖道信，五祖弘忍，六祖惠能。六祖之後衣缽不傳，道降火宅，白馬續為七祖，羅尉群繼任八祖。羅八祖歸後，道根秘隱公案，道統懸虛八百載。其間雖無天命祖師接衍道統，惟自宋代融合儒、佛、道三家的理學及倡導「三教合一」的全真教驟然興起。降及明代又產生了一種以「無生老母」及「龍華三會」為主要教義之新興三教合一俗家教團。雖然全真教及部分新興宗教如黃天道、夏教等，具有龐大教勢，且信徒遍佈各地，奈因天時未至，所傳多為枝葉，根本心印大法或失傳或瞬即止傳，故亦未續天命之祖派。然彼等卻為大道之經義策論，做了薪傳的工作，大道之奧旨得賴以昌明。

　　迨至清順治年間，天時已至，元始天尊化身之黃德輝在江西廬山，受天命，遙接羅八祖，緒為第九代祖。黃九祖融匯天命心法及新舊宗教思想，以儒佛道「三教合一」（註一）及全真教「修煉金丹」（註二）教義為精髓，新興宗教之「無生老母」（註三）及「龍華三會」（註四）教義為佐義，正式開創先天道。故，皇極金丹寶卷云：「金丹大道最為奇，元始臨凡墜玉梯；真機默演無為理，九玄泄漏造皇極」，又云：「西天四七傳燈轉，東土三三立教門」。黃九祖以前為「接緒道統」，祖派、道脈在儒佛道三教，大道係教門中之真傳，在三教中遞傳。自黃九祖以降，係屬「開創道統」，乃為因應三期末劫、原人返本還原，所特設之授有無上法、專辦普度收圓道門，而為大道教團結社之開端。

　　黃九祖掌道後，歷經數十年之風霜，開荒闡化江西饒州府等地，門風曾鼎盛一時，門徒分成八卦九宮，惟自康熙二十九年（一六九０）歸西後，其教漸呈式微之態勢。半世紀後，至乾隆年間，吳紫祥始出，在有緣寺受命為第十代祖，闡化廣信府，重振先天道脈。迄乾隆四十九年（一七八四）了道後，何若再繼續為第十一祖，續開道洪都（南昌）、鄱陽一帶。嘉慶初年，何十一祖遭風考，充軍貴州龍里縣，大道始入黔省。嘉慶七年（一八０二），袁志謙續任十二祖，至十五年（一八一０），由黔省入滇省，自此道開雲南。

　　道光三年（一八二三），袁祖自雲南開道四川，在成都設立西乾堂，以此為中心，積極向各地開展道務。此後人才輩出，尹正、黃謙、楊守一、劉曰湖及方運泓續闡四川；陳玉賢、安依成、宋土道等開道兩湖；滇黔方面在嘉慶年間已有楊二姑、夏致溫之經營，道光後續有冰清等之調度；三江（江蘇、安徽）則有李六合之籌辦；福建則屬李道生等。彼等均為一時之俊彥，先天道隨其足跡所至，漸風行大江南北。

　　道光（一八二六），楊守一、徐吉南繼任第十三代祖，至道光八年（一八二八）了道歸西，袁十二祖復出視事，惟以年邁難於任事，交地任陳彬代理，三年後陳彬遭風考充軍，袁祖無奈復出掌盤，稱退安老人。道光十四年（一八三四），袁祖歸西，續由五行掌道。道光二十三年癸卯（一八四三）先天道場遭受大風考，至道光二十五年（一八四五）乙己，火行陳依精、木行安依成、土行宋土道在湖北漢陽捨身了道，道場岌岌可危。風雨飄搖之際，幸賴十地彭德源（依法）臨危受命，晉任水行，出掌道盤。彭水祖掌道，重建道場，制定條規，嚴立佛綱，數年之後，頹廢之道場，乃再度復甦。咸豐八年（一八五八）十二月，水祖歸西，金秘祖（林芳華）接續之。金秘祖才高心細，仗義輸財，以普渡為心，以收圓為念，先天道大宏開，蓬勃景象再現。同治十二年（一八七三）金秘祖歸西，歸前將道盤交付素玉、素陽掌理，並曉諭西乾堂弟子嗣後「稱師不稱祖」，自此西乾道脈移轉。良以道光年間，　老已將十四代祖位秘授山西姚鶴天接掌，至同治十三年（一八七四）姚祖始歸。

　　光緒三年（一八七七），　老降臨山東青州東震堂，令王覺一繼任十五代祖。王祖掌道後，奉命以儒教來闡揚先天道義，廢除了入道時「茹素」、「絕欲」之規定，以較高層次的「理天法」取代「氣天法」，將先天道之「指出玄關」，改為「點開玄關」，又廢除了黃九祖開道以來所創的「九節內功」，不再修煉金丹，只教人格物致知、涵養心性，使天道之修持，由全真化轉趨儒教化。迄光緒十年（一八八四）王祖歸空時，其道已傳遍大江南北，其後由十六祖劉清虛接掌道盤。光緒三十一年（一九０五），續由路中一掌道，稱十七代祖。民國十四年（一九二五）路祖歸空，由其妹路師姑太代掌道盤。至民國十九年（一九三０），始由張天然繼任十八代祖，辦理末後一著三曹普渡。民國三十六年（一九四七），張祖歸空，續由孫慧明掌理道盤，辦理收圓大任。民國四十三年（一九五四）由香港遷居台灣。民國六十四年（一九七五）農曆二月二十三日歸空於台北市，享年八十一歲。歸後，　老封中華聖母。

2008-05-26T18:53:00.005+08:00

it's been a while since my last image post. 'm happy to share some of my recent pictures here, after procrastinate for some times.

the afternoon was just so pretty with clouds

does it look like a scene in movie?
behind the gate is our medical college.

it's not gloomy~

i've removed li gu from here!

on the brigade road

li gu with the Rs647 breakfast

乌龟车fat! =.=

an english guy who helped us to take this pic, so blur!

cheers~

2008-05-14T15:43:00.002+08:00

sh*t i shouldn't have deleted my last post just now. just worried that it'd be too creepy to be read later.. wat's wrong to be emo right? quite agree with wat wan sim said in kak's comment, emo-ing is also good at sometime coz u'll get back on track after tat.

i really dunno how to answer when shien juin asked me how come my last post was so moody but couldn't even find it on my face. maybe there's rarely no reason for being moody?

well, don worry too much guys. i'm fine!

:D

WHAT CAN ATTEST THE VALIDITY OF TAO

2008-05-12T19:18:00.006+08:00

found this article via wikipedia this afternoon after shien juin told me that yew jhin is interested in finding out wat's I-Kuan Tao. i found it very difficult to explain in english.. nevertheless, luckily there was this website written in english n all about I-Kuan Tao. i really hope that my frens will understand wat is it about, in spite of misunderstanding it as a cult.

Tao, due to its completeness and generality, regulates the totality if all beings. Many people, after receiving Tao, with their wisdom, faith, and devotion, realize that Tao is the fundamental principle that governs all things. They comprehend the truth of the universe not only through literature, but also through daily living and nature. Their faith in Tao becomes strengthened and they move forward in their spiritual life. However, for people who haven't or just received Tao, Tao can be confirmed through revelations.

A. Anyone who has received Tao with the front door opened shall die peacefully. One proof of this is that for those who have receive Tao and died, their bodies remained soft and their faces vivid. Since the soul leaves the body through the correct exit, the corpse can actually remain uncorroded for a few days. With the most advanced modern science and technology, it is still difficult to explain this phenomenon. However, it is a FACT that cannot be denied. This has happened before in some religions, but very rarely. For people who have received Tao, this kind of testimony is ubiquitous, unless they have committed serious sins and corrupts their own mind. This can prove the soul has reached an ultimate harmony.
B. Being the superintendent of the things on earth, human beings are nonetheless weak. Since birth, we are subject to unpredictable accidents and natural disasters. There have been many people who encountered danger, used the Three Treasures with faith, and got away from the danger or reduced the damage to the minimum. Testimonies of this kind are numerous.
The above two mentioned are rarely heard of and difficult to believe, but they are the immediate security given by God once a person has received Tao. Thereafter, with each individual's faith, wisdom, and the accumulation of good deeds, one will come to know the truth more and more. It's up to you to experience the value of this treasure. I hope you will have the opportunity to receive Tao, experience it in your life, achieve ultimate perfection, and realize eternity.

here's more bout I-Kuan Tao in wikipedia. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yiguandao#Practices

知错

2008-05-05T16:16:00.003+08:00

为什么长这么大还要被骂。

因为明知故犯，因为不守规矩，才会被批评。

明明人家讲热汤热水不能直接倒进种植花草的泥土里，但是我偏偏贪方便在akha的面前做出这样的丑事。结果被讲了一下，心里是很不爽，也很不甘愿的那种。然而我的真人告诉我，我真的做错事了，如果我不认错我只会变得更幼稚，更可恶，更没有道德的一只迷途羔羊。

这件事警惕了我，必须时时反省，感恩，守矩。

犯错之后常常觉得自己是个坏人，更让自己讨厌的是为什么别人总认为我是个善良的人，而自己却很清楚知道其实自己的心是多么的黑暗。那种扮好人的假人，跟鬼有什么两样。我是臭鬼。。鬼鬼鬼！！！

我下定决心，一定要成为一个实实在在的好人，不许作出一些伤害自己良心(真人)的事。

写完了，心也安了。

death = eternity

2008-05-05T09:38:00.005+08:00

i received a msg from siew meei when i was studying with shien juin yesterday afternoon. in the msg, it's written like this, "敬慈, 国瑛走了.." at first i thought she's leaving for somewhere to further her studies but the msg was too short n creepy. i didn't have the good feeling about it, thus i made a call to siew meei.

kok ying just passed away in that afternoon.

i couldn't accept the fact, how could she die.. she's LAI KOK YING!!!!!!!!! she was so healthy, she was so optimistic, she was so playful, she was so smart..... how could it be.

how much i wish i could fly back to msia now. 'm deeply regret that i never pay a visit to her during last holiday in kk.

i miss her laughes, the way she talked, how she treasured her frens.. my heart scattered into pieces.. i lost another fren. this is the real one. she's no more in this world. together buried with her voice.

i couldn't stop imaging things that might be happened in a sudden, without my knowledge. i'm in pessimism again..(pls slap me) i should have reminded myself that life is...full of unexpectations.

maybe...
the next minute...

i'll fall down with my soup?
i'll be hit by a car?
i'll be stabbed by robber?

maybe...
the next 3 years...

i find myself having anaemia?
i'll be diagnosed that i have hepatitis?
i burn myself in the kitchen?
my nerves get paralyzed?

stupid. well, i prefer i'm the one who get injured or even die b4 any others. coz i'm too selfish.

actually i should be glad that god has brought her spirit back to where she came from right.. that's wat i should think about in spite. fortunately she got the pathway how her spirit should go, otherwise i'll feel guilty very much.

wat's the eternity one? i'd call it the soul. human body is just like a shell, that helps us physically in everything, from crawling until walking until running. but it always comes to an end when the body gets infected, travailed or degraded. the only eternity one will never die, it will go back to the place where it came from if we know where it enters on our body. that's the secret which god is wishing to tell us. i wish i could let more of my frens to know bout this, so that they will know where n how their spirits to be returned to god. it's kinda hard to convince especially ppl from different religions. the eternity one... who could understand? nobody wanna understand.

healthy life is going on

2008-04-20T23:05:00.005+08:00

was planning to post this on friday actually but couldn't make use of my time. wasting a lot of precious time on chatting with frens n 客串 here n there.

i start jogging in every early morning with ci-er. wake up at 5:30am everyday! we have yoga after jogging though. =D

finally i got my own tennis racket. gloria, shien juin, evan, shawn n me went for tennis on friday morning. i was so excited to play tennis again, though the sun is really very strong n burning. actually i was scared of getting dark again like in IS last time, haha. there's only sand court in salem, dunno wat's the different compared with clay court, perhaps the bouncing different? anyway, it was my first time playing tennis on sand! well, my tennis is still sucks like when i played with min ren n karen them last time. i know where're my mistakes n i never change it. i never move spontaneously and hit the way that coach had taught for hundred times. anyway, i must learn to be a proper tennis player one day!

we went for lunch after the tennis n continue again in the afternoon. then san nv asked me to go swimming in sona college. wow we swam in india! n swimming during summer is just great enough!!! miss those days swimming with karen last time. swimming is just so calming... i wanna go again next weekend!!

so i had my metabolism rate risen to the highest for the whole friday. i had a good slumber that night...

first time experience

2008-04-12T12:59:00.006+08:00

i joined the mix for pool competition with jye. it was one of the sport events held by vinayaka mission college. we won the first game n we got into final. (nobody knew i could play pool till they saw me there). talked a lot with jye while waiting for our turn into final. we talked bout frens in our secondary sch, really miss those days playing pool with min ren them.

the referee told us, "2 min, after this is ur turn"... jye looked at me,"2 min for a pool?" the stupid-childish local took more than 1 hour to complete their POOOOOOoooooL. know y they took so long time? besides dunno how to hold the cue properly they argued for the rules n did watever to make themselves won. every shout made us thought they had completed the game but it's not. it was our turn into the final finally.. i accidentally hit the cue ball into pocket after a strike, then the referee told me, "we have a rule for this game, if u get 3 fouls u'll lose the game. so this is ur SECOND FOUL." i was so blurred y that was our second foul as we din foul anything b4 tat. so angry that my voice is too soft to argue with them. then when the opponent hit the free ball, they said we either have the chance to move the cue ball or hit it twice without moving it. then when it's my turn to hit the cue ball twice they forgot to let me hit the second time, i was squeezed out of the crowd n the opponent thought it was her turn liao. then manveer helped me to argue with the referee, wat the referee said was, "erm..sorry i couldn't do anything." with manveer's direction luckily i hit quite some of the balls into pocket, felt so happy n panic when we still left the black ball. i worry if we would hit the cue ball into pocket again coz we still one foul to lose. i was so careful at every inch but we couldn't change the end... jye hit the black ball n the cue ball fall into pocket. =.=

however, at least we got the second place. n this is my first competition for pool, haha.

went for ping pong competion yesterday with si jie, shien juin n yew jhin. i thought i only played double with si jie but suddenly the ppl came n told me that there're 2 batches for single. wow..i played single! i was quite nervous for the first game n luckily i won! it was really tiring to play when i was feeling nervous. dunno if it was because i went jogging with yin ci in the early morning made me felt so tired after that. but i lose my final...coz i was too tired n panic. i shouldn't listen to how many points i had gotten, i should have tried my best to play in spite. anway, it was still a good news that i won the first place in female double with sijie. she's really a good ping pong player.

this is my first ping pong competition. there are so many 'first time' experiences here.

childish

2008-04-03T04:03:00.004+08:00

i knew i had done something wrong again. i thought it is forgiven, but it's NOT. how can i always make my fren going away from me. there're no more use to put all the blames on myself anymore coz it will never gain back the original frienship. ppl has had bad impression on u already wat he sees u are only coward, faker, gossiper, lier, black sheep, rascal, ne'er-do-well.... there's no more turning back. i should have realised that i'm a person like that. such a loser. i'm not going to debate anything. i'm not good in negotiation, not good in keeping secret, not good in holding love that ppl have shared, not good in telling bout my true feelings. shipping...shipping back the one wat we used to have, K? i don want to fall into black again, it's somewhat like a hell that u never have the easy chance to flee away. i enquire my life to be filled with laughs. laughs from the heart. see...it's so far away from me. i'm a derelict.....i'm boycotted?

life with pidc frens

2008-03-29T01:11:00.007+08:00

i wanted to post all the pics tat i've taken since at KLIA but couldn't make use of my time. it's a bit out of heat to post all these pics now but, well, sharing is always the best.

taken b4 departed for india

my same bday fren

catcha!

way to international departure hall, uhu~

a staircase outside my room

old thing is pretty.

my first ping pong bat

lois so yeng

li gu! i got ur pic!

hong er is so cute

i really need to go back to my pre-planned time table, which is...make use of every single day for studying, jogging, photography, letter writing, novel reading... i think this is the reason y i couldn't get a well slumber every afternoon n night, i'm feeling sorry for my empty soul.

family in kl

2008-03-20T20:25:00.031+08:00

days in kl before i departed for india. we were having a great time, friends and family IS always the greatest thing. they all enjoyed with the 50mm lens, i told pung kim, 'it makes u moving in the pic, can u see it?' but he said, 'well, it's moving meh?' anyway, i feel super happy with my new dslr, hope i can shoot more in india too.

going to watch 10,000 bc

so sad din focus well but i love her innocent look

ice kacang!

we were on a taxi to midvalley

first pic of qiu qiu in my cam

i cant stand it! keep it clean eh..

it's such a memorable..

when i had no models at home

my family in kl

tat's she.

goot posture lowen!

shoot from 4th floor of sunway apartment hostel

ppl say i look younger than her

blur~~~~

she's so photogenic, isn't she?

she seldom dream but the way she dreams is pretty kan.

午雨

2008-03-20T19:27:00.002+08:00

此时此刻，我听着claudia's theme，一面冥想着小房间的那扇绿色沙窗帘，在下雨的时分里，我看不见未来的样子。。时间并没有停留在那一刻，我也不可能一直待在那个温室里，我离夫人和爸爸的影子越来越远。。越来越模糊。我很担心，夫人思念我们的痛苦。那个家，一年里，只有几次才有我和妹妹的笑声和吵闹声。

我们长大了，父母也老了。以后再一家团聚时不知会是怎样的一个情景。有一天晚上临睡前，我问夫人，“老了的感觉是怎样的？” 夫人说，“嗯。。老了的感觉啊。。。就是比较会想很多东西，会很想捉住一样东西。但是了解留不住任何东西之后，就比较能放下。”

这次的返归，使我心酸不少。曾经是那么开心的一段日子很快又结束了。

我很喜欢下雨的午后，可是会让我想起孤单的我，我不喜欢这种感觉。

如今，我知道再多的幻想，只会让我失去更多快乐的时光。身为一个有使命的人，我不应该再原地踏步。不应该再想这么多。

happy valentine

2008-02-14T14:43:00.012+08:00

i think i had drawn the wrong decision. when u did something rash n stupid at the blur moment, u'd deeply regret when u looked back.

did i look stupid that time?

well, forget bout it.

felt so happy to see hong er's cute look when he got the surprise gift from us. although he din really show much how surprise it was, i knew he was very happy with the big-hug-gable bear, doesn't it look just alike with him? ngek ngek..

i'm thinking back the moment i spent the valentine with mok.. frankly speaking, i think we never have a proper V day b4. last year i was in still in kl n he was in kk, this year i'm in india he's in sg.

am i trying to live against my destiny? don ever oh.

mom said, "focus on study".
aunty told me, "if u don take the decision now, u'll hurt him in the future."
min ren asked me, "y u still don wanna let go?"
jack said, "那就给它继续烂下去吧."
hong er said, "ng de ng diu."

don wanna think so much now, just wanna live my life to the fullest. therefore, let's put away this issue. or u can say i'm escaping the problem, whatever.

found another band to be included into my favourite artists list, it's Incubus. i used to listen to some songs from it last time but dunno who sang it until i opened my music files this morning n the song just pop up from the player n caught my ears. their 'love hurts' quite nice. i love guitar so much! arghh...where's my michelle branch?? where's my keane??

okay, go back to my DM.. uhu~

Happy Valentine to Everyone

考试前后

2008-02-10T13:32:00.000+08:00

考完 theory final 已经有两三天了。说一说考试前后的我。。

roommate 说她重来没有看见我烦恼的样子，除了刚睡完午觉的时候。老实说，其实我是有紧张和压力的哦，最好的证明就是我的肩膀上会贴上 salonpas，要不然就会看到我整天在 library，我是有读书的。

这次的考试，放最多努力的科目是在 anatomy。没有想到选到的 topic 不小心就这样在考卷纸 doink 出来了！上天慈悲，要不是我在 library 遇到 kebo男我可能写不出 air sinus 那篇 essay。缘分和机缘是非常难得的东西，一切都是那么地擦身而过。我相信 "when u want something, the world will conspire to help u achieve it".

去考试前，我真的真的很怕。。。。很怕会半途便便。这是我从小到大最敏感的事。每次一要考很重要的考试，或坐长途 bas 的时候，都会想来想去，就是那种越想越会发生的，比如 mm mmm 的事。三年级时候有一次考试前，我很怕突然肚子痛，然后不久果然肚子痛起来了。那时没有厕纸，考卷又快派下来了，结果就撕了几张练习簿的纸冲去课室后面的 longkang mm mmm.... 我就是这样活到现在。来了 india 也是这样，有一次坐长途 bas 从 bangalore 回 salem 的时候，在车里就一直想着，等下千万不要乱来哦。。。。。后来，就。。。竟然在路边 mm mmm! 我唯一自豪的一次，就是坐 lcct bas 送 alex 去机场的时候，没有想到 mm mmm 的事，因为太伤心了！

从 UPSR 开始，我就会想考试期间我会不会出水痘。到了 PMR, SPM, UEC，A level(忘了有没有，因为那年伤心过渡)，甚至是现在的 uni exam 我还是会这样想。现在回想起来，原来 law of attraction 是这么一回事。。。"wat u think will attract wat u want".

实在是扯太远了。。。

dm 和 physio 是我 crap 到最多的两份。希望是可以 pass 的 ;) 我们 3rd batch 全部一定要一起给它 pass 掉。。如果有一个人离开了，唉。。。想都不敢想。

这几天没有考试的日子真是放纵到极点，不是 online 就是看戏看到早上5点。颓废的人生呀。。讲真，有哪一次是没有放纵自己的时候？太不在乎的人，还是懒散的人？

第一次在国外庆祝农历新年，感觉是不错的。不知做么，每次ｒｏｏｍｍａｔｅ讲她不喜欢在这里庆祝时我一直要强调这一点。昨晚忙了一整天，从选菜切菜开始，越煮越火滚，还不经意地动怒了，我又起心动念了！回想起，真是后悔。林姑终于被发现发脾气的样子了！

到什么时候，才能改变自己的坏习惯。很不喜欢什么都埋藏在心里的。。可是我做不到　ｂｉｌｉｂａｌａ．．还是学习中庸之道吧。

明天是ｐｒａｃｔｉｃａｌ哦。。我总没ｄｕ４书呖！

gain time

2008-01-08T16:58:00.001+08:00

ling-gu arose late this morning, so she din manage to accomplish the physio practical model exam.

guiltiness, regret, self-condemnation, lamentation, uneasiness, qualm.....have soaked me in.

staring at the hair clip on my laptop, it was such a nice scene to be caught. thus i took out my camera from the wardrobe n started to SNAP! it was so enjoyable using macro mode, from tiny one to medium one. finally i could apprehend the significances in adjusting the aperture n shutter speed.

here are some master pieces of the talented ling-gu, hahaha...

borrowed this from carmen, i like the little-but-not-noisy bells. got indian feeL?

hair clip from san nv, love it so much. best for weak & easy-loss hair.

calendar from ting Er!

calendar for carmen by me. got san nv's feel lar..haha! oh i'm influenced by u finally!

my little bear, bought in klcc with qiu qiu n li fong. miss them so much.

i wish i can repeat my horrible smile in the canteen's wash room with san nv, li gu n hong er again.
this interpret that, everything tat we see is fake, unreal n spurious. the genuine one is? our real soul
a bonanza from shien juin, haha.
hong er, the jelly will not disintegrate de la... u see!
彩虹天堂。
chocolate from GLoria! hurray! cram cram cram!

mickey mp3 from korea!! hurray! i have new mp3 some more is disney version!

DM paper

2008-01-05T15:42:00.000+08:00

i used my glassware to cook noodles last night. i forgot that the glass will also exhibit expansion n contraction based on thermal induction. i removed the very hot glassware from the hotplate n put on the cold aluminium pantry table.."CRA...CK!" i really heard the cracking sound, it sounded cracking! quickly i got another bowl for my noodles before the glassware totally cracked. then i dumped my kristy-smelled glassware into the dustbin! i dumped it! it had accompanied my for months n i just dumped it in such a way.... "PLANK PLANK!" it was shattered into pieces..

taciturn.

this phenomenon reminded me bout the accident on a housewife in the 'final destination'. in the movie, she used a hot porcelain cup n got some cold water from the tap, she din realize the cup was cracking while she was dealing with her pc, the water leaked out from the fissure of the cup n dropped on the current-running monitor, next the pc burnt out, she then struggling around the kitchen looking for cloth wiper. next, she accidentally fell down n pulled along the knives on the table. the knives stabbed her! her destiny just ended like this. treacherously.

my roommate asked my to study hard therefore she said tat she'd accompanied me studying till late night. but i need to stay in room cannot lepak anywhere. me then spending most of the time online-chatting with frens who were located in domes nearby. san nv said she was eating chocolate. ppl who freak of choc like me was crazed for it, then san nv walked from her dome n delivered a bar of toblerone for me! so touching oh.. (ps:the toblerone is herself one, not from the secret person oh ;p) i crammed the whole choc! in yore, i could finished half of the largest toblerone (400g) at once ^^ tat's y i'm so heavy now.

i was blanked with DM paper when i read the essay n short note questions. wat the cold questions they gave.. i admonished myself, "if u don want to write u can go back to ur hostel now. if not, stay n write!!" although i dunno wat to write, bluffing might help me to score marks. so the whole papers are fulled of CRABS.

i just understood y our camaraderie is getting shallower. becoz i can never withstand the crank n camouflage of u.

oh feelings

2008-01-03T03:50:00.000+08:00

we went to salem castle at the night of new year. not sure how many of us but there were US, a troop of half-going-mature ppl.

mr wil-er-son strongly suggested tat all the bloggers here must post their complaints bout the restaurant in the blog n we can post our comments on each other's blog, to shoot the lousiest restaurant!

okay, wat's wrong with salem castle? "do not judge a book by its cover." wat we saw from outside of the hotel was nice, but when we walked into the restaurant....

1. y the saturation of light like tat? show 5 fingers see only 3. so DISMAL!
2. we could see some STAIN n hangover left on the back side of table cloth.
3. the menu was TORN.
4. lists on the menu were nothing different with KUMARAN.
5. the service took u a hundred YEARS.
6. they served the vegetarians real MEAT!
7. the disinclination's dishes were fulled of NaCl n condiment! they want to hazard our kidneys!
8. we need a hundred years to get our BILLS.
9. they had BRAIN CONCUSSION in billing, we might have disbursed the extra.

so, whoever decide to go there must CONTEMPLATE twice oh!

there's still left one more day to study, ayisshh...wat was i doing these few weeks? i just know tat i'm addicted to san nv's room, if one day din go to their room sure feel awkward d. just don understand, good atmosphere? but my room is cleaner n more tidy wor, hahaha.

i really cant get myself into the text books! where is my cerebral cortex? i'm disoriented!

just had a hair-cut by bin er, first time let fren to cut my hair, n it was also the first time bin er cut gal's hair. i just love to take risk! yo risky rocks! not bad the hair cut, looked more 淑女 liao. haha.

we were arguing bout maturity in 6B during dinner. there's no a standard for maturity, this is wat hong er said. i cannot deny, but i have to agree that there's a level of maturity. everyone has diff level of maturity. is maturity related with personalities? or, do personalities affect the level of maturity of a person? i think we can write a dissertation on this topic edi, haha.

WHEN U WANT SOMETHING, DON DISSIMULATE THAT U DON WANT.

i don like sharing food with u....!(only li gu understand)

'the end of august' by Yanni is so nice.....

how to be mature?

2007-12-31T21:30:00.000+08:00

so bad my half-the-way post was shut down. i cant remember wat i've written. so, i'd better write another topic.

woke up at 9 something this morning, slept back at 10am like tat after taking bfast. i seldom sleep back if i woke up late in the morning, then i had a lot of 'morning-mare' until 1pm. i hate dreaming!! i don want to dream during slumber!

WAT U DREAM REFLEX WAT U ARE.

really have no idea how to get back my study mood. i'm being so lazy since months ago, until my roommate nag me to study. i really dislike the person like me.

went to play table tennis with arthur them again this afternoon. i'm still the lousiest player, haha. really have no confident with myself.

i'm thinking, how to be a mature one? here are some of my side of views, to be a mature one, u...

1. do not get angry easily over a matter.
2. prepare to forgive other.
3. do not gossip.
4. have to be humour despite being sarcastic.
5. think out of the box.
6. can handle problem steadily.
7. do not get astonished.
8. do not get depressed easily.
9. think wat is more important.
10.keep secret.
11.do not speak harsh words.
12.love everyone, willing to help.
13.do not make urself drunk.
14.do not show off.
15.acknowledge urself every single moment.

uhmm...i think from the above, i can only do ONE out of the 15! so i still have 14 to go to be a mature person.

i must control my emotion, my love, my thoughts. i cannot simply get depressed or angry, i cannot fall in love with anyone other than him, i cannot think to the negative side. i must get more mature!! be mature!

okay, it's time for cooking now. i'll be back!

oh the clumsy one!

2007-12-30T00:32:00.000+08:00

in the morning, tammy's msg woke me up. i almost forgot we got to go to coffee world for group study. coz i slept at very late last night, uhm..sorry is this early morning, i slept at 4:40am! my cells are growing badly soon! tammy, san nv n me went for bfast in canteen. we had poori! tat's the nicest indian food i consider. then we went to coffee world by otto. i was flashing back a lot of past things tat happened to me, it was like watching a movie, a rewinding movie.. i understood y the adults o'wes let their children to see the good sides of them, or, guide to correct one. parenthood is really important. thank u mom n dad. i love u.

wherever my footprints were, i could hardly see those previous dented floor.

LIVING IN THE PRESENT TENSE.

i ordered a cup of apple iced tea as i used to take some sips of it last time n i really liked it. it brings u into tender-sweet time!

we got study a bit, very bit only from anatomy. found tat many things i dunno n i have forgotten. i really need long memory! i'm feeling stressed now, i'm worrying so much bout my final yet 'm wasting time here..!

we got home at 5pm. it's time for ping pong!

ying er, han han, shawn, wilson, shien juin n me went for table tennis this afternoon. it seems like taking part in our routine edi, it's really fun playing table tennis.

i think i'm the worst player among them. but my fortune was there with me, i could hit back the ball nicely without flying up high anymore! feel so proud coupling with shien juin but i o'wes make my partner lose the game.. really don have enough confident myself, i'd be stucked when they started the game. however, feel so happy tat we won in the game! first time i won game in ball de sport!! coz i really have no fate with balls, i'm so scared of them, n i never catch them well in my hand.

shien juin suggested us to play a game. which is, involving all of the players. each of us took the turn around the table, like playing chasing game, u hit the ball when it's ur turn, then after hit the ball successfully, the ppl following by u will take the turn, n u have to go to another station n wait for ur turn. ppl who din manage to hit the ball will be out n at last leave 2 ppl playing, on each place. it came to a very panic situation when u couldn't get urself in the right place to hit the ball in time. and...when i ran to hit the ball, i slipped! and.....i fell on the floor like playing a slow motion movie. it hurt my hip n wrist, luckily i din hit my head on the table, it was so lucky... if not, i'd have ruined my brain n facial nerves.

arghh..there were so much to pai seh about this afternoon in that gym room. next, i screwed up in the game, i ran to the opponent's place n i dunno there just left me n shien juin in the game! next, next, next....i think i've done many pai-seh-ing things today!

x'mas in india

2007-12-27T20:31:00.000+08:00

we were having the very great x'mas eve n x'mas in pidc hostel. b4 tat we were playing master n angel. my master is wilson n my angel is shawn. my master treat me better than my angel. my angel is born on the same day with me. my master is admired by someone. my master knew who was his angel when i helped him to hang the lucky leaf. i knew who was my master from the first thing he gave. via this game it seems like all the ppl getting closer n closer. but it'd be perfect if the game involved the whole batch. so sad tat some of them din get the chance to join.... feel so sorry for them. we smashed water on our master if they guess wrongly who's their angel. if we guessed wrongly, we ourselves will get the water smashed. we got to exchange x'mas gift with our angel n master on x'mas eve further on. i got very nice pressies from wilson n shawn, da soft toys really cute! later on, cyn tee called me to block 7 tat somebody wanted meet me. tat was shien juin! so unexpected he gave me a x'mas gift! i was....so surprise, so touched. quite drunk tat time after drinking some whisky with evan n thomas them. played badminton with bin er afterwards to cease my dizzy feeling, din know tat i can play better when get drunk! shien juin was very drunk n i thought he was shedding tears coz his eyes were so wet n red. on x'mas day, the next day, we had steamboat together at night. it'd be a perfect reunion dinner if the current did not get shocked. we needed to bring the induction pot to other place for current supplying n get back the pot to dome 6 again continue to eat.

after dinner continue did my biochem in san nv's room. nowadays, more n more ppl squeeze into her room. y? because she just bought something 'shawn-ing' from bangalore, a keyboard cost Rs12,000. felt so sleepy half the way doing the record book, it was 3am something edi. my determine had reached the limit, thus, i slept, though there were many ppl in the room, looking at the sleeping one.

i love pidc.

"God creates the desert so that man will appreciate the palm tree."

* shawn = 嚣张, because we have a fren, shawn, whose chinese name is 黄筱张.

here are some pics, part of my lives in pidc.

me n son nv!

me n my children!

arghh....i dunno how to shoot fireworks!

my DIY x'mas gift!

oh my master are so creative!

x'mas gift from shien juin

candy from bangalore by shien juin

international x'mas card, from siok siok!

this help my slumber...

my complete denture

i love windmill!

x'mas gift from master n angel

this is our x'mas wishing tree

what colour x'mas tree should u have?

2007-12-24T14:56:00.000+08:00

You Should Have a White Christmas Tree

For you, the holidays represent joy and sprituality.
The true meaning of Christmas is important to you - even if you're not religious.

The holidays are a time of reflection for you.
You like to spend time thinking about what's important in life.

Your white tree would look great with: Bright, bold ornaments

You should spend Christmas Eve watching: The Nativity Story

What you should bake for Santa: Sugar cookies - served up with a tall glass of milk

What Color Christmas Tree Should You Have?

QuesTioNS

2007-12-24T03:25:00.000+08:00

Rules:-Do this tag and answer all the questions into your own blog.-Delete one question from all the questions and add one of your own questions, make sure it is 20 questions.-Tag 8 persons.

Questions:

1. What was your dream when you were a small kid?
-to be a doctor

2. What is the happiest thing in your whole life?
-i cant remember, hanging out with family gua.

3. What do you wish to have now?
-i wish i can make use of my holiday n pass my final exam.

4. How should the world be seen?
-poor n rich.

5. What have you realized recently?
-i'm such a busy-body one.

6. Do you think a day which consist of 24 hours is enough for you?
-not enough for online and studying but enough for eating.

7. When you have something which you are unhappy about, what will you do?
-keep in heart, then forget it.

8. Are you afraid of losing?
-no, if i never lose, i'll never grow up.

9. Do you think that you feel helpless, or useless sometimes?
-yes.

10. What you want to do now?
-find someone to chat. perhaps sms-ing.

11. List out 3 kind of people you hate the most.
- ppl who make frens according to benefit
- back stabber
- faker

12. What is loneliness?
- when u dunno how to think out of the box.

13. Are you satisfied with your life now?
- more than enough.

14. When was the most recent time you felt touched?
-few days ago, from the movie mahatma gandhi.

15. Where is the place that you visited and you felt the most beautiful?
- pulau sapi!

16. Use 5 words to describe who you are.
- lazy chocolate-freak blur emotional

17. If you have one wish that’ll come true, what is it?
- i want my parents to live longer than me.

18. Do you have anything to worry or to be scared about recently?
- laziness.

19. If the World is going to end, what will you do?
- go for meditation.

20. Your biggest fear now?
- final exam.

8 Persons that i’ll tag..
1. min ren
2. qiu er
3. hong er
4. li gu
5.
6.
7.
8.

arghh...san nv u're making me perturbed now! i dunno who to tag liao, seems like not much of them will view this post, n most of them seems rarely blog.

kristy in the holiday mode

2007-12-24T01:24:00.000+08:00

wow...kristy's back to blogger! yeahss! feel so happy i can blog again in blogspot. thanks li gu for the ultrasurf. was spending the whole day editting my blogspot with san nv, really need to thank her to find back my blogging mood. i'll avoid to post the negative one!

it's been really long time i never post anything bout my lives, feel tat i've lost a lot of memories. well, some good and memorable are still there in my cerebrum ^^

it's the 3rd day of the holiday. i've wasted 72 hours doing nothing meaningful, except finished some pages of the alchemist, and learnt some new words. i think it's a wise decision for not going anywhere during the holiday, or else i'll be out of budget $.$

however, felt so happy tat some of my frens came back from their trip in bangalore. dunno how come, felt a bit empty the days without them. seems like i really get used with their existency. laugher is o'wes be there. thanks cai shan's for the black choc and shien juin's rasberry-like candy, which really make me crowned!

testing

2007-07-02T23:50:00.000+08:00

sorry guys, need to read from my comment again.

2007-06-18T00:45:00.000+08:00

these few days

2007-06-15T19:53:00.000+08:00

enya! she's just genius

2007-06-12T00:25:00.000+08:00

It’s In The Rain

Enya

Every time the rain comes down,
close my eyes and listen.
I can hear the lonesome sound of the sky as it cries.
Listen to the rain
Here it comes again
Hear it in the rain
Feel the touch of tears that fall -
they won't fall forever
In the way the day will flow all things come,
all things go.
Listen to the rain ...
the rain...
Here it comes again...
...again...
Hear it in the rain ...
the rain...
Late at night I drift away -
I can hear you calling,
and my name is in the rain,
leaves on trees whispering,
deep blue sea's mysteries.
Even when this moment ends,
can't let go this feeling.
Everything will come again in the sound,
falling down, of the sky as it cries.
Hear my name in the rain.

i miss her voice when i listen her latest album. it recalls my memories especially for the last senior 2 n 3... last time, i was enjoying her songs until i feel like i'm living in uk (coz she's a british). it's so soothening de.

there is another song which is also great in her latest album, 'a moment lost', suit my feel ngam ngam-ly.

It's only now when words are said

That break my heart in two,

I wonder how you can endure

All I've said,

all I say to you.

How strong,

how brave,

how true of you

To bear the hurt I gave.

I know it tears your heart in two:

All I've said,

all I say to you.

After all the words are said,

After all the dreams we made;

Every one a precious one,

Every one a summer sun...

A moment lost,

forever gone,

Can never be again,

So know how much it means to me;

All you said,

All you gave,

All your love to me.

sot

2007-06-11T23:00:00.000+08:00

i feel dao i'm so bad, i scolded him n then i consoled him back again. it's like teaching a kid how to behave himself. until chang kee said y i'm being so fierce to him, ha..

n then i called him back n said i miss him during dinner.

i'm typically AB type person.

sasal(tamil)=傻傻

2007-06-11T00:58:00.000+08:00

thanks for the concerns from u all, i'm recovered finally! i can eat some biscuits already, haha.

slept a lot these few days until my roommate warn at me not to sleep so much otherwise i'll have no heart to study, haha. she's such a good roommate for me, thanks for everything tat God arranged for me, i believe everything i met there sure a reason lie behind.

dunno y feel so distanced with him edi, even cant talk so much on the phone, n i purposely wait until he asked me questions then i speak. i don wish it'd be like this but i just don feel good with it. i hate this feeling. i need somebody to cheer me up do u know.

渐渐地，我怎么觉得我们好像是两个世界的人？

come back my appetite

2007-06-09T16:45:00.000+08:00

已经第三天了，好害怕。。就这样没胃口的又过了一餐。

gastric? stomach ache? fever? diarrhea?

2007-06-08T20:37:00.000+08:00

aih...still feeling like hell today, cant take in foods, feel to vomit... thanks sem guan for the milk, but i dunno if it did help me not, i just cant take in so much foods.

getting immuned with those tests, even don have fear on them edi. today biochem test was still ok for me but i dunno how much wil i get. thanks god that i got a pretty unpredicted result in my general anatomy test paper, haha. but my viva...

feel so sad when i cant give any help to a fren who is having deep problem recently. i'm not tat understanding u? ha...felt more to vomit afterward. really not feeling well...really.

i wan a deep rest. retrieving all my power back.

alala...

2007-06-07T21:02:00.000+08:00

woke up from a hell like nap in the afternoon again, should be because of da cup of 'neslo' (nescafe+milo) causing me to have sort of gastric pain, it's my first time i think. felt so weak after woke up, took a cup of hot salt water, i even have no energy to walk.

tension come to me again, m'dm deepti's words kept repeating in my mind, "u guys are the worst batch, y don u guys learn from ur seniors? they done well in their exams n viva, i never see such disaster test results from u all."

i'm a very weak n easily influenced person, my closed frens shall know me. but i'll forget easily too. aha.

no appetite, is it supposed to eat something to soothen the gastric pain? but i dunno whether it's considered gastric or not wor, it feels like something scratching my stomach's wall n feels like going to vomit.

sometime i wish there's someone tat i can lean at, when i feel helpless n tired. but i know i should lean at God.

biochem test tomolo, study hard n study smart! don ever compare with others!

a day without soul

2007-06-06T14:56:00.000+08:00

slept at 2am this morning after a super tiring anatomy revision. cant remember at all la! my brain was fulled n i tend to give up while carmen was still teaching what are passing those foramens. felt so dizzy after all ==ate a lot last night outside with them, from cheese burger+vege wrap till chocolate fantasy cake non stop! gonna plan for a diet soon, haha.day become cooler with the plenty of rain drops during night time n strong blowing of wind. i like cold rather than hot. but i'll get sick easily during cold, ha.. weather changed unpredictably, today can be windy but tomolo can be sunny. i prefer cloudy.just back from anatomy viva, all i can say is, my performance was so sux.. i thought it would be easier to be asked by the chocolate man, who knows he kept asking those 'cold question'. where got emissory foramen oh?? u point for me la. can ask me those more important parts pls?really gotta study hard from now, should cut down my online period, really...must.

friendship to be preserved

2007-06-03T20:46:00.000+08:00

thanks Dr. Wong, thank u very much... ^^

feel so easy now. haha.

sad

2007-06-02T16:25:00.000+08:00

i cant stand it anymore, i wanna say

i'm so sad...

i'm really sad...

My Lovely Dinner

2007-06-01T23:59:00.001+08:00

今晚的蛋花汤面

another day

2007-06-01T16:31:00.000+08:00

it's another month! time past like rocket! everytime after monday sure will meet sunday again very soon.

so sad...cant upload pics myself, wat happened to my website? click da 'add image' icon repeatedly also no use.

feel so tired n sleepy again today, almost fall asleep during physio! luckily da madam is quite nice. i was trying to pinch my ears again n again, coz mom said it's the best solution to make u feel freshed.

must get myself to be more diciplined edi.

suddenly miss the moment of group studying spent at daphne's house, time past really fast.

i must at least finish studying physio n biochem today!

shall i have a cup of coffee not?

2007-06-01T01:49:00.001+08:00

thanks for the attachments!

2007-05-31T19:58:00.000+08:00

i have such a best fren tat understand me so much n did me so many major n minor things. i know 'thank u' really cant replace how much appreciation from me to u. thanks for owes be there for me.

blurr-y day

2007-05-31T19:22:00.000+08:00

i miss my home foods very much suddenly. dunno wat to eat edi though my food store is accummulated with my favourite biscuits n drinks.dunno y, i feel tired n sad today. my afternoon nap was like hell, slept until dunno it's afternoon, haha.. weird dreams come over n over again until i dreamt tat i swim in the air!still have a lot of books to read ah...wonder if i can pass this year not, seems like i need to stress myself to study hard again. but if laptop is placed beside me sure hard to keep my principle de, hehe..dunno if i'm too sensitive or wat, sometime i don really understand u. supposed my result is better then u might respect me more? gosh..wat am i talking bout..

trustworthy

2007-05-31T00:33:00.000+08:00

i feel to cry when i dunno how to make decision.

i was stucked to hear that 'u must trust ur fren' when i said 'true or not oh?'

i trusted a lot of ppl tat sometime i get hurt.

god, bless me to be wiser, pls.

~~~~~~

2007-05-27T16:30:00.000+08:00

may peaceful atmostphere occupies everywhere.

i become a psychologist edi.

test n exam

2007-05-24T18:18:00.001+08:00

i think most ppl from sttss have this serious problem.. comparing their result.

actually i dislike myself of having this bad habit which owes bring me down whenever i get a lower mark than other. it feels like how come i put so much effort n cut down my online period yet i still get lower mark than those who studied at last minute. i told myself stop to think like this because it's quite torturing n i start to feel sinful myself.

wat to compare? the only person that we need to compare with is own self. who gives us stress? own self too.

let's study happily.

pls work eh

2007-05-18T21:53:00.000+08:00

s***! how come my phone memory card cant work edi! only put in some songs then become like this liao...all da disney songs fault.

how le..cant use it to capture images anymore.

sob..

so much to study lar...so envy carmen revised for every subject taught everyday, hope this will influence me. so many names to the skull, now i can say i totally forgot wat da lecturer teach, o i should buy a skull? but don wish la. i don even consider to put my anatomy text book(which we brought to dissection hall) on bed.

feel so light n easy listening to da disney theme songs, love da 'return to pooh corner' by kenny loggins so much!

gotta cut down my calories edi, feel so uncomfortable with too much foods in my stomach.

yeahss!! finally found a fren to acc me jogging!!! wat a great thing for me since i came here! know who is she? she used to be in the same class with me during junior one, we were in J1 Ai class, she's liew han ni (simply spell), a fair n quite pretty gal for now, a year earlier than me started at PIDC here. God is so generous to me.

my sd card ah...

lov u sista much!

2007-05-17T17:22:00.000+08:00

got parcel from sis yesterday finally. feel so touched when i found out that there are a lot of very useful stuff prepared from her. never know tat she care for me so much. although da cadbury chocolates were molten, yet it tasted so sweet n crunchy with roasted almond inside, yumm.. so cute tat she parcel me her flavour type of chocolates. taste really not bad! pants tat she bought also very comfortable to wear, especially at the hot place here. btw, there are some 'salombas' muscle painkiller tiam, thanks thanks!

should or should not i go back during august le?? only 2 weeks, o i spend da money go for a travel at here?

lv kun!

2007-05-17T17:06:00.000+08:00

isn't he cute? so sad he din become prince in 'gong'. haha..nonsense..

没话

2007-05-15T22:31:00.000+08:00

如果之间少了沟通的默契，是不是学问上的分差？对方想表达的却收不到。。难道是我要求太高了？我要的，不是这些。我们的未来不只这些。。。不要为了配合我才这样。

oh my parcel!

2007-05-15T20:46:00.000+08:00

i thought today will be a relaxing day for me but mana tau carmen told me she saw our new time table in the dissection hall, 2 PHYSIOLOGY class in the afternoon!!

told myself many times edi not to eat curry puff during intermission but then...i bought 2, 12 rupees. getting fat..

so much worries lie within myself n i feel so lost during anatomy class. i hope i can cope up with it b4 da coming viva n test. dunno y those indian can memorise so many things, is very very many.

seems like we still have problem with the accent of indian lecturers. it turned into a big joke when we were trying to figure out wat is da physiology lecturer pronouncing- 'M' into 'yiam'. chang kee, one of my sapo fren here laugh until shed her tears. oh ya, indian here owes call our first 2 name, so i'm ling ching instead of ching tze. n my fren is chang kee instead of kee ying. da funnier name, another fren shuk ting become wong shuk(in cantonese皇叔).

got my parcel finally from da lil post office. thanks mummy for buying me so much healthy foods! love ya! n thanks chou fei for the parcel very much..

so tired, still haven't prepare my dinner. after dinner sure tired to study liao de lo....

immigrate lur...

2007-05-14T22:43:00.000+08:00

finally have a proper blog in blogger since my ex blogger acc was too old to use. i used to be a msn spaces-holic, but now cant upload any pics more thr, feel so sad to leave da spaces.. so much memories left behind, there are so much. how many frens start using msn spaces after encouraged by me, but i just leave it like this.

first post here, first year here, everything is freshly first.